Tag Archives: women and freemasonry

Interview with a Mason’s Lady #1

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So, there’s some a big post on the back burner, I need to mull it over a bit, and think about how I want to word it. In the mean time, I wanted to share with you a project I started a while ago- interviewing other Mason’s Ladies. If you or someone you know would like to share your Masonic story. please send me an email at themasonslady@gmail.com!

(Identifying information has been removed.)

Name: J. B.

Age: 36

Current Location: Seoul, South Korea

How were you made aware of Masonry? Do you come from a Masonic family?

I come from a very masonic family, more so on my mother’s side.  My great grandparents were in masons, shrine, and Daughters of the Nile (great grandmother). My Grandfather and great uncle were also Shriners (It was an exciting year when my great uncle because imperial potentate of the Shrine. I still remember attending the Shrine circus and seeing my Great uncle as ringmaster during his year as potentate in British Columbia).  My uncles and my cousin also became masons when my great uncle became imperial potentate (gotta support). My father was also a mason and would have become a shriner had he not passed away at an untimely age due to cancer. My Grandmother is a past queen of Daughters of the Nile and a Past Matron of the Order of the Eastern Star (I had the pleasure of using her gavel when I was honored queen in 1993 and am using is once again as Worthy Matron). My Mother was a member of the Order of the Eastern Star and Amaranth (unfortunately she quit when I moved to Korea as she was tired of dealing with the gossipy cattiness that inevitably follows an organization filled with a plethora of personalities).

When I turned 11 years old (Job’s Daughters range in age from 11-20), my Grandmother and Grandfather took me to an open installation of Bethel #31.  This was my very first time ever seeing anything masonic.  During the reception, I had my grandmother on one side of me and my grandfather on the other and they asked, “So what do you think? Would you like to join?” Of course, the immediate answer would be yes.  From that point on, I have been a diligent member of masonic affiliated organizations.

What is your perception of the current state of Masonry where you live? That is, how to you, personally view the Masonry around you? If applicable, how has it changed over the years, or from location to location?

I am lucky enough to be associated with both PHA and non-PHA masonic groups here on the Korean peninsula. For non-PHA lodges, there are two grand lodges represented: Grand Lodge of Scotland and the Grand Lodge of the Philippines. They have no female organizations available here at this time.  For PHA the two Grand Lodges that I know of represented are: The Grand Lodge of Washington and Jurisdiction and the Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. The PHA groups here are mainly military based and the non-PHA groups are mainly expat. I can clearly see that there is a small rift between the PHA and non-PHA groups. This is slowly changing. This year we have attended (Boyfriend and I are PHA Eastern Stars) the open installation of Macarthur Lodge of the Grand Lodge of the Philipines and have also attended various barbeques and other functions with Lodge Han Yang of the Grand Lodge of Scotland.  Unfortunately, the Grand Lodge of Scotland and the Grand Lodge of Washington PHA do not currently recognize each other making it more difficult to interact on a more official level.  Brothers of the lodges are currently working toward rectifying this situation.

As an expat member of a mainly military Chapter of the OES, it is very different for me to me involved in such a high turnover due to people leaving to a new location every couple of years for their career.  Even with this, we continue to thrive and have a strong sister and brotherhood.

As a mason’s “wife” of a non-PHA lodge, it feels very much the same as it did in Vancouver.  I feel very involved and have gained great friendships with many of the men and their wives.  I am also aware that I feel more of a connection with the brothers than some of the other wives due to my masonic upbringing.  I firmly believe that wives being involved in masonic affiliated organizations can bring very greater understanding and closer relationships.

Overall, I would say that whether as a child or an adult, whether PHA or non-PHA, whether in North America or Korea, the fundamental values remain the same: strive to be a better person and perform acts of charity. It is an honor and privilege to say that I am a part of masonic organizations.

 What is your favorite aspect of Masonry? Your least favorite?

Favorite: The camaraderie, the ritual work, and the virtues for which we all strive to embody.

Least favorite: the gossipy catty nature of some members within the order.

How has Masonry changed your relationships (SO, family, friends) for the better? Has it changed it for the worse as well?

I feel as though I have answered this within all my other answers.  Overall it has always changed it for the better. I have always been a part of masonic organizations and don’t know what my life would be like otherwise. I would certainly say however, that I would not change a thing.

If you could change one thing about your lodge/chapter, what would it be? Why?

Selfishly, I would wish that my sisters and brothers could remain in-country (Korea) longer. Our ritual work suffers due to the high turn-over rate however, the true reason is that I miss them very much when they are gone.

Were you involved in Job’s Daughters or Rainbow growing up? Looking back on those programs, do you have a positive, or negative view on them? How did they impact your life today?

I was a Job’s Daughter growing up and had a very positive experience.  I was very unpopular in school due to my, shall we say… eccentricities – I was weird and embraced it. I never cared because I had an amazing group of friends in both Job’s Daughters and DeMolay of whom many I am still friends with today. Jobies were my true friends and where I felt at home.  I know that many people may have had negative experiences due to the, as I have said before, gossipy and catty nature of people – especially girls.  I however, feel very thankful for my upbringing.  Jobies taught me not only decorum and virtues to strive toward, but also accounting, Robert’s Rules of Order, organization skills, public speaking, and most importantly how to lead in a diplomatic community.  Today, I still have a large community of friends that stemmed from my time in Jobies. More importantly, my closest friends (even though I only see them once a year or every other year) were also those I grew up with within masonic groups. My boyfriend (of whom I have been living with now for 6 years) was a DeMolay from Golden Ears Chapter. We were buddies for 15 years before we ever started dating.

 

My Boyfriend, is the current (now past) Right Worshipful Master of Lodge Han Yang #1048 of the Grand Lodge of Scotland located in Seoul South Korea and he is also a member of Lodge Southern Cross #44 of the Grand Lodge of British Columbia. As a masonic “wife,” I have had the privilege of meeting many amazing men and women here in Korea and wouldn’t change it for a minute. One of the nice things about dating a mason is that I know that the men he is hanging out with have certain values and morals they strive to achieve and therefore I always feel comfortable knowing he’s out having fun with them.  More often than not I am invited along for the fun.  I realize that there are many masonic wives that do not have the same view as me and worry when their husband comes home late into the night. I think that my view is different because I am very aware of and involved in masonic organizations and therefore have a better understanding of what they are doing any why.  I firmly believe that the wives with issues would feel much more secure if they were also involved in masonic affiliated orders.

If you have children, do you encourage them to be involved in Masonic youth programs, why or why not? If you do not have children, will/would you?

I absolutely would encourage my children to be involved in Masonic youth programs. I think my reasoning is pretty clear based on my own experiences.  Over and above the feeling of belonging and the wonderful skills I learned, I was also kept too busy to get into any trouble.  I never got interested in drugs, teen pregnancies, stealing cars or anything else that bored teenagers may decide is a good idea.  My mother knew all of my friends’ parents and never really had to worry.  I would go out late on many weekends to dances and such, however we always had 1 parent to every 5 girls.  Jobies also provided a community of parents for my mother to get involved in.

 Have you ever experienced misogyny from Masons? How did you react, and if in public, how did the others around you react? Did this incidence(s) change the way that you view Masonry? Why or why not?

I certainly have experienced misogyny from Masons (more so since I’ve been in OES in Korea).  There are a few members of lodges here who feel that women have no place within any masonic affiliated groups.  I usually don’t have any time to react before another Mason will break in information regarding female Masons in France etc. etc. Though it saddens my heart to meet men that feel negatively toward women having any involvement, I am quickly lifted by the much larger number of men –usually more educated on masonic knowledge – who come to the rescue and put them in their place. It hasn’t really changed my view on masonry at all.  Confucius said, “To study without thinking is futile, to think without studying is dangerous.” I know that in every walk of life there will be people who “think without studying” and it is their own downfall, not mine.

How do you feel about the “men only” rule? Do you agree or disagree with this rule? Why or why not?

I can understand why many women feel they should not be prevented from joining a lodge just because of their gender, however I disagree. Girls enjoy having their “girl’s night out” where they go out with just the ladies leaving their husbands and boyfriends to do as they will. Men also enjoy this experience. Men should be able to have the freedom to be a part of an organization that is only men.  Women should also have this same freedom.  Masonic affiliated organizations allow for this via Daughters of the Nile, Ladies of the White Shrine, Job’s Daughters, Rainbow Girls, and I’m sure many more that I can’t think of at the moment. They also have organizations that both men and women can enjoy together such as OES, Amaranth, Heroines of Jericho (PHA), and much more.  Masonic groups allow for men to have their men time, women to have their women time, and for men and women to come together.  On top of this, women are also very involved in many of the open events the lodges have and husbands have the same opportunity within the women’s organizations. I also have absolutely no problem completely female lodges as they have in England (to me this is just another masonic affiliated group). I not agree with the idea of forcing all masonic affiliated groups to be co-ed. There is a completely different dynamic within the co-ed groups and if lodges were forced to be co-ed, there would be no place for the men to have their “men time.”

What advice would you give to a new member or a new or fellow Mason’s lady? What questions would you want to ask them?

My advice would be to be prepared for the gossipy catty nature of human beings and to never let it bring you down.  Do your best to strive to uphold the virtues within your obligation and teach others to do the same.  If you model it, they will follow.  Remember all the good that comes out of these organizations and embrace the life-long friendships that will most certainly emerge. These organizations aren’t just about your chapter, court, etc, but about a connection world-wide.  People will move away, you will meet visitors from all over, and you will have the opportunity to remain in touch for a lifetime. Remember the charity work that embodies the order and that your contribution is important, but so is your humbleness. It doesn’t matter how many people know that you work hard, what matters is that you do indeed work hard.

I guess the question I would ask a new member is, “are you prepared to do your best to follow and embody the virtues and morality found within your obligation? Are you prepared to make this a life-long commitment through the good and the bad knowing that the good will always inevitably be greater?” I would also offer a welcoming place for any sister or brother to visit in Korea.

Order of Weavers

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I want you to imagine something with me. Close your eyes, and imagine a Lodge; the people within it, its purpose, all of the wonderful things that those people accomplish. Imagine their families, the children growing up within the Lodge, and one day joining on their own. Now imagine, only a slight difference from reality. Instead of all of the members being men, imagine them instead to be women. What would be different? What would be the same? Would the organization crumble, or thrive? How would the men feel about being excluded; would they be offended, or would it not be a big deal? Could what this Lodge accomplish be far different from others?

What if I told you this was not necessarily a daydream? While there are a few women organizations in the United States, they are almost a direct copy of masculine (regular or mainstream) Masonry. Personally, I feel that if I were to join a Lodge, I would not want it to be masculine Masonry with different but similar words, I would want it to be something of its own, something that I can help shape its own legacy. Within the Netherlands (as well as one Lodge in France), this exists within the Order of Weavers.

The Order of Weavers was created shortly after World War II. The women of the country,as many did, enjoyed the newfound freedom of being able to take leadership positions and work outside of the home. They had noticed that Freemasonry had lent great support, both to the members, as well as their families. They were inspired to create something similar, but very much their own. Twelve women began the order in 1947, many of them were the wives of Freemasons. While starting out, they were supported by three Freemasons,though the Order of Weavers is not an official Masonic organization. The rituals were completed by 1950.

In many ways, the Order of Weavers is very similar to masculine Masonry. There are three degrees. The membership requirements are similar, a candidate must be a free-born woman, who believes in a higher power. Dogma, politics, and controversial issues are frowned upon for topics of discussion within the Lodge. They do not permit the opposite sex to join. They both teach similar morals and life lessons, and touch the lives of their members. Also, much like UGLE Freemasonry, the Order of Weavers has a split off organization that came about of disagreement. This is called the Order of Free Weavers, and the majority of their Lodges are based in France, with some in the Netherlands.

The Order of Weavers, is of course, still very different from Masonry. The three degrees are called Spinner, Weaver, and Designer (sometimes also called Creator?). While the formatting of the ritual work is based off of Blue Lodge, that tends to be where the similarities end. The Grand Lodges are instead called Colleges. The Order of Weavers tells their own stories, and teaches their own lessons, ones quite divergent from Freemasonry. The concepts behind the rituals, however, are similar. The end result is still to create a better person. In the end, the biggest difference between the two organizations, is that the Order of Weavers does not have the great pedigree that Freemasonry does.

There are currently 16 Lodges of the Order of Weavers, 15 being in the Netherlands, and 1 in France. This is actually the same number of Lodges of Le Droit Humain. They currently boast 500 members.

So, what’s the big deal about this organization? Sometimes, I day dream about bringing the organization to the United States. It would be quite the undertaking. However, if anyone is interested in gaining approval from the College, flying to the Netherlands, receiving the degrees, going back home, and doing all the work to begin a Lodge, please let me know! I think I am up to two people right now.

Please note, that there is not much information out there about the Order of Weavers, so some of this is pieced together a bit. If you have different information, or are a member of the Order of Weavers, I would love to hear from you.

What do you think about the organization? Would you join, or be interested in learning more? If you’re a Mason, what do you think about the Order? Would you be okay with your SO joining?

A Handbook for the Freemason’s Wife Book Review and Giveaway

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I’m going to keep this week’s article short and sweet so we can get to the fun stuff.

Shortly after I started The Mason’s Lady, I found myself quickly grasping at straws to find any information that was about Freemasonry, for specifically for the significant other of a Mason. Let’s just say we won’t be making a “best of” list anytime soon for books in that category. I can’t remember if it was through deep Googling, or someone mentioning it on Reddit, but eventually I stumbled across a book; I ordered it as soon as I saw the title, A Handbook for the Freemason’s Wife. I was even lucky enough to find a used copy that was signed by one of the authors.

A Handbook for the Freemason’s Wife by Philippa Faulks and Cheryl Skidmore, though made for a UK audience, is a wonderful companion for any Mason’s lady. The first half of the book goes over general information and commonly asked questions about Freemasonry. It’s is in a nice question and answer format, similar to what I do here on occasion. This part of the book covers all of the basics of Masonry, the officers, the uniforms, the accessories, etc, but also offers some insightful advice, such as how much time Masonry actually takes up, and some tips on how you can be accepting of your significant other becoming, or being a Freemason. This section also includes a short Masonic dictionary (at the very front for easy access), as well as some beautiful poems and songs regarding Masonry that I have not seen anywhere else.  The only fault I have with the book, is that some of the information is ordered a little oddly, for instance, not all of the descriptions of the various Lodge officers are in the same chapter, but it does make sense within context; this is also saved by the concise index at the back of the book.

The turning section in the book is the chapter about hosting a Ladies Night, which may happen only in the UK (or only just not in T’s Lodge), which seems to be kind of a Ladies at the table kind of event combined with a fun night and charity event. The second half of the book is sadly (for me at least) very UK/Europe specific. It covers all of the charities that Masons in the area have and donate to, and gives a lengthy description of each, as well as information specific to Masonic wives and widows.It also includes information for all of the appendant Masonic bodies, including women’s and youth groups. contact information for the appendant bodies of Masonry, and the Grand Lodges of the area.

 

One of the authors of the book, Philippa Faulks, has actually had a really awesome interview pertaining to this book if you want to check it out. It also has some great Masonic information; you can tell she really feels passionate about the subject, and is also very knowledgeable.

 

Overall, I would say that A Handbook for the Freemason’s Wife is a must have for anyone interested in Masonry, whether they are the significant other of a recently joined Mason, or a not so recently joined Mason, or even a Mason himself. It really begs itself for a sequel, perhaps for the wife of the established Mason. This is the kind of book that I hope to write some day for a US audience, and I only hope that it will be half as awesome.

And now for the fun stuff!

 

Philippa Faulks was actually on the /r/freemasonry subReddit the other day, and I told her that her book, A Handbook for the Freemason’s Wife really inspired me and helped me form The Mason’s Lady into what it is today. She and her publisher were kind enough to offer me a couple of signed copies to give away to my readers!

I have two copies of the book to give away. In order to keep it simple, I will ask anyone who may be interested in a copy to comment on this post with either their favorite thing about Freemasonry, or a question that they have about Freemasonry. I will keep the giveaway open until I post next week’s article (usually 9:30pm Central time), and the winners will be randomly chosen using a handy dandy random number generator. Winners will be contacted privately for their contact information. Please only comment once, and do not make multiple accounts in order to add more comments, in order to keep the giveaway fair for everyone.

If you aren’t comfortable with the giveaway, or want to buy directly, you can find it here – but note that because this book comes from the UK, there will be significant shipping charges.

Have a great week!

Don’t Panic

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Probably the most common email I receive is something along the lines of, “My boyfriend just became a Mason. What do I need to know? What do I need to do?”  Looking back, that is a question that I have yet to really address.  Hopefully I can shine some light on what you need to know when you or a loved one becomes a Mason, or even when they are just researching joining.

Take a Deep Breath and Start Reading

Probably one of the worse things about Masonry is the amount of information that is out there. This is also one of its greatest assets. The issue here is figuring out what information is correct, and which is not. When starting out your research, you will want to stick to reputable sources. Sometimes, even this can be hard. It’s not illegal for someone to call themselves a Mason or a brother, but it is pretty rude. This of course, happens most every day, regardless. There is a ton, and I mean a ton of websites, forums, books, YouTube channels, Netflix shows, magazines, etc., that relate to Freemasonry. If you can’t afford to purchase the books, there is a good chance that your local Lodge may have a copy they are able to loan you. Doing this will also help ensure that you aren’t reading a book written by a 99th level Mason who encourages everyone to wear their tin foil hats. Another issue  with information about Masons is the amount of sensationalism that tends to happen. For instance, the Netflix program The Truth Behind: The Freemasons,  is kind of a joke in our house. They make a huge deal about “the Masons sharing their secrets” and “never before seen footage of what actually goes on”. The truth is, what they show is parts of a Grand Lodge installation, done in full costume. Installations are generally public. Anyone reading this could go right now. Infact, you can even go to Youtube and watch an installation (It’s right here). So, be sure to take anything you read about Masons with a grain of salt.

 These are, what I’ve found, some of the best resources for someone new to the Masonic Community:

  • Freemasonry for Dummies by Bro. Hodapp – I cannot stress enough about this book. I know I’ve talked a lot about it before, but it is that important. Everyone, even 50 year Masons, should own this book. It is the best book to lay yourfoundation of Masonic knowledge on. Also, it’s only $16. Go buy it, right now.
  • The Newly Made Mason: Everything he and every Mason should know about Masonry by H.L. Haywood – Not just for Masons! I’ve not read a lot of this book, just had a chance to flip through a few times. I do know that this is often the book given when a Mason is raised to Master Mason.
  • The Masonic Lodge of Education– There’s more than meets the eye for this website. Often when I am doing reseach, they will have the a small amount of information about a fairly obscure topic. (Just don’t waste your money on the Masonic Wife e-book they keep talking about, believe me.
  • The Iowa Masonic Library– Did you know that Mason’s have their own library? It’s even in Iowa. The importance ofthis is that they actually will lend books to you, through the mail!
  • Masonic Magazines– There are a few out there, but Freemasonry Today tends to be the most popular.
  • Masonic Podcasts– made by Masons for Masons.The Mason’s Lady was featured on an episode of Whence Came You?
  • /r/Freemasonry– If you don’t know about Reddit, and even if you do, you should check out this sub reddit. Everyone there is always happy to answer your questions, or at least point you in the right direction.
  • Other Masonic Blogs– Ashlars and Ashes,  an RSS site of many known and active blogs
  • Your local Lodge, and Grand Lodge (more on that in a bit).

 

 

Find Your Local Masonic Community

 One of the most important things you can do when starting down the Masonic path, is research where Masons are in your area. Masonic groups are split into two levels of governing. The top level, is the jurisdiction or state that you live in. This is referred to as the Grand Lodge. These are the guys that make sure everyone is enforcing the bylaws of your state, and usually plan the bigger events and fundraisers. If you have trouble finding a Lodge in your area, I would recommend sending a letter to your Grand Lodge. You can find a list of US Grand Lodges and their websites here. The bottom level are the Lodges themselves. Each Lodge is self-governing, but must be sure that it follows all of the rules and bylaws set up by the state, as well as their own.

There are a couple of ways to find a local Lodge. A Grand Lodge website will have all of their Lodges listed with contact information. Another option would be, of course, to Google your town and Masonic Lodge. In larger cities however, you may have quite a few to choose from. I live in a large metropolitan city in the Midwest, and there are over 10 Lodges to choose from. If you have options, go and check it out. Often Lodges will have dinner before their meeting. You are welcome to come, and your SO as well. Find a Lodge that has the most people that you could see yourself spending time with and making firneds.

This might seem a little counterintuitive, but consider also contacting the organizations that you or your SO are not eligible, such as Scottish Rite, or the Shrine. This isn’t necessarily because you want to join, but because out side of the Lodge, these tend to be the organizations with the most social events. Consider attending some, or even volunteering your time. This will help you get in touch with the greater Masonic community outside of your Lodge. Another important reason to get in touch with these organizations, is that often one or more of them will help run or coordinate a local Masonic calendar. This should let you in on all the fun stuff- cookouts, dinners, raffles, scotch tastings…I think you get the idea.

 Get Involved

 I’ve probably said this a million times, and I will probably say it a million more. Masonry is what you put into it. If you want to be the crazy people that go to an event every night, or if you as a SO aren’t interested in it at all, or something in between, that is fine. There are always seemingly endless Masonic events and opportunities out there. If you don’t think it’s for you, but you are okay with your SO joining, that’s fine too, no one will fault you for it. If you get bummed out that you can’t join (like myself), get involved in other ways. Help cook meals, run events, or fundraise. There will always be something out there that you enjoy that you can help better Masonry. You can help better yourself as well. There are a number of official and unofficial female only Masonic organizations out there. Do some googling, find out what is available in your area. Enjoy yourself. On the other hand, there’s always something to be said about a night alone.

More The Mason’s Lady posts that can help a new Mason and/or their SO.

The Mason’s Lady

A Masonic Dictionary

A Look at the Lodge and its Officers

What Actually Happens at Lodge

Can’t Join ’em? Support ’em!

The Benefits of Being a Mason’s Lady

The Masonic Wife

Women and Freemasonry

I hope that kind of helps lay groundwork for the things you will want to look into when you or your SO are starting a Masonic journey. As always, still feel free to contact me with any questions you may have. You may have noted that a few things got changed around as far as the layout. I ended up catergorizing all of the posts, and then each catergory can be visited by using the menu at the top. The tag cloud and search bar have been moved to the bottom of the page. Hopefully this will help make the site a bit easier to navigate.

The Benefits of Being a Mason’s Lady

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Why do you do it? Why support Masons if you can’t be one? Why bother spending 4 hours making food for a dinner you’re not really invited to? Don’t they hate women or something? It’s something that I’ve been asked probably more times than I care to really count. There are many answers to these questions (one of them being that I just like to cook), but there is one that I feel like is overlooked more than most. It’s not really talked about so much, because only those who are already in the same situation as myself realize it. There are benefits to being a Mason’s lady. I actually almost didn’t write this article, because I felt that it kind of undermined the entire fraternal idea, and seemed a little selfish, but, as T pointed out, it is the truth.

You get to feel like a princess.

I will be the first to admit, I am totally a tomboy. Never one for makeup, I shopped in the men’s section until my mid twenties (and sometimes still do). But, no matter how much any woman may deny it, there is something we can’t help but love when it comes to dressing up and going out on the town. Besides the normal business casual clothes I have that I wear to meetings and monthly Lodge dinners, I have a ball gown and two evening gowns in my closet; not only that, but all three have been worn within the last year, and will be worn again in the foreseeable future. Not many women actually get to go to cocktail parties anymore. Its just simply something that our society has shied away from. Masonry can help women fulfill the need of playing dress up that I am certain most all of us have had since children. What’s more, for those of us who love to shop (not me), Masonic events are always a decent excuse to go clothes shopping. Unlike men who can get away with two pairs of pants, three shirts, and a suit jacket, women are required to have a much more diverse closet. I know that I always feel special when I slip on my fancy gown, heels and makeup, and I can’t imagine that many women feel differently.

Pardon the rude language.

Chivalry is not dead.

Look anywhere on the internet, and you are sure to find something about the death of chivalry, or something about how women are assholes and men stopped trying, or whatever; its irrelevant. Freemasonry and its appendant bodies help bring back and perpetuate the ideals of Masonry. Men act like gentlemen, and women act like ladies. While this does mean you won’t hear anyone cursing up a storm in mixed company, it also means you will often find doors opened for you, drinks bought for you, and someone taking your coat. In many ways, being at a large Masonic event, or even just at a Lodge dinner, it like stepping back in time. Everyone does their very best to be polite and unoffensive, and cell phones at the dinner table are a scarcity. Many people, women included, are turned off by this aspect of Masonry. I for one, enjoy and welcome it. I have often felt that we could use a little old school etiquette in today’s world.

You get alone time.

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again, Masonry is awesome, because it gets T out of the house. Don’t get me wrong, I love the man to death, but I feel that everyone in all relationships is in need of some alone time. Since T has Lodge every Wednesday, that tends to be my “me” night. Wednesdays are the nights I take a long bath, order in from that Chinese place down the street T has disdain for, and put on a horror flick (which he can’t stand). Time apart helps both parties grow and helps your relationship overall evolve. These days, everything can get so crazy, that it feels like you barely have time for your SO, let alone yourself. Masonry is from a different era, and kind of helps slow us down. If you aren’t feeling the alone time, call up some friends and go out, have fun, no one says you have to be at home waiting for him to walk though the door while he’s at Lodge.

There’s more tangible, monetary benefits than anyone realizes.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of intangible benefits out there. The love and support that I receive from my Masonic family goes far beyond what I ever might have expected to get from them. That being said, its nice to have some tangible stuff too. Unfortunately, there’s nothing so simple as flashing your dues card for a discount on your hotel room like AAA. The majority of the benefits fit into one of two categories: monetary, and opportunities. There’s scholarships for everyone in your family, for just about anything you could ever want to do. College? Of course. But beyond that, band camp, leadership conferences, golf tournaments, the circus, ordering t-shirts online, and more. There is almost always a scholarship or monetary discount on all public events put on by a branch of Masonry for the members and their families. If you aren’t sure if there is a discount, or if you cannot afford something you really want (or need) to attend, ask those around you! They are sure to help you out, within reason of course. In addition to this, there is an emergency fund to help member’s families in dire need. You can read about that here.

The other thing that I think is overlooked pretty often is the opportunities available. Sure, there are plenty of opportunities for the Mason himself, and these are not as easily forgotten. Many of these opportunities extend to his family as well, both SO, as well as any children. These tend to come within two forms. The first is the formal opportunity, a chance to go on a field trip to Kansas City to see the DeMolay headquarters, or a last minute opening in an interesting conference. The other type of opportunity is more informal. This is the kind that comes not from the organization itself, but from its members. Always wanted to learn how to knit but never got the hang of it? Maybe the Junior Warden’s wife owns a yarn store. Kiddo is looking for his first summer job? Bro. John needs help tearing down an old shed on his property. The opportunities here are endless. A word of caution however, this is one of the reasons that people tend to get hung up on the idea of Freemasonry. No one should join Masonry in order to receive any of these benefits, they should simply be seen as an added bonus.

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Other little things that you may find happen as a Mason’s lady. Once T joined the local Shrine, I received my own “membership card” which is kind of neat. More or less it grants me access to the members only bar at the Shrine. T and I were able to take our engagement photos at the Scottish Rite, a beautiful building downtown. We were even able to get on the roof. These kinds of things are my favorite; the little things that don’t really seem like much, but always add up to every moment involved in Masonry being worth it.

I hope that I did not stray too far from the ideals of this blog, and didn’t come off as a selfish, coincided woman. If I did, I apologize. I actually almost titled this article “The Benefits of Putting up with Masonry”. There are a lot of pros and a lot of cons for being a Mason. Sometimes it might feel like the guys get all the pros and the girls get all the cons. Hopefully this article helps give some perspective on the pros for the ladies too. If you have any questions, or have any thoughts on this topic, please let me know. And as always, have a wonderful week.

An Introduction to Non-Masculine Masonry, Part II

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As mentioned last week, the topic of non-masculine Freemasonry tends to illicit a strong response from most people involved in Masonry, no matter which side of the fence they may fall on as far as the actual subject is concerned. This week I wanted to look some of the terms used when talking about non-masculine Lodges, some of the arguments against the organizations, and some history behind the separation between masculine and non-masculine Masonry . If you missed out on the introduction last week, you can check it out here.

Regular versus Irregular versus Clandestine

Perhaps one of the most confusing parts of the argument either for or against non-masculine Masonry, are the terms used to describe it. Often you will hear masculine Masons refer to non-masculine Masonry as irregular, clandestine, or unrecognized.  However, contrary to popular belief, these words do not all mean the same thing. Wording is everything with Masons (thanks Taozen!), no matter which flavor of Masonry they may ascribe to. In the definitions below, please keep in mind that these are from the masculine Mason point of view, a member of a non-masculine Masonic Lodge may have  different definitions.

  • Regular – Ironically, this is probably the most difficult definition. That’s because what qualifies a Lodge as regular can differ from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Regular simply means that the Lodge meets the standards that have been established by the Grand Lodge that it wants to be a part of. This works on the Grand Lodge level as well, where a Grand Lodge is considered regular if it meets the standards established by the second Grand Lodge that is inquiring the regularity. This doesn’t mean that they have to meet the standards exactly, more that any differences between the two would be trivial. The standards usually include things like ceremonies, hierarchy, and general philosophy.
  • Recognized – After two Lodges or Grand Lodges have deemed each other to be regular, a formal agreement is made, usually with a lot of paperwork, that states that the two Lodges or Grand Lodges agree that the other is regular. We now say that they recognize each other, and members of both Lodges or Grand Lodges may recognize each other as brothers, this usually includes visitation rights.
  • Irregular– A Lodge or Grand Lodge is considered irregular by the inquiring Lodge or Grand Lodge if they do not meet the standards, or if the differences between the standards would be too great. So let’s say  Lodge #826 wants to put on a panel at the statewide Masonic conference, but #826 isn’t a member of the Grand Lodge of Alabama, where the Lodges resides. So, the Grand Lodge of Alabama looks into the standards of what makes up Lodge #826, the core of the Lodge. If the Grand Lodge of Alabama feels that the heart of Lodge #826 is too different from the standards set up by the Grand Lodge of Alabama, then Lodge #826 is considered irregular by the Grand Lodge of Alabama, and therefore not allowed to take part in the statewide conference as a Lodge. (Same scenario works with regular, with Lodge #826 being able to attend.)
  • Unrecognized – Much like you might guess, if two Lodges or Grand Lodges feel that the difference between their standards is too great, and that the other is irregular, they now consider the other Lodge unrecognized as well. Again, even though it sounds negative, it really is not, it simply means that their standards of Masonry, what they consider to be the most important things to uphold, did not match up.
  • Clandestine– Clandestine is usually the term used to describe Lodges that allow women and atheists. However, if someone uses this word to describe these Lodges they are (usually) incorrect. A Lodge is considered clandestine if it was established with ill or dishonorable intent. These are known as the “scam” lodges, and usually involve you paying a large sum of money for little to no degree work, and a certificate with a fancy title on it. Regardless of how you may feel about non-masculine Masonry, I think we can all agree that this is not Masonry, and is often little more than a pyramid scheme.

The argument against non-masculine Masonry

So, what does this mean for non-masculine Masons? Well, the United Grand Lodge of England (UGLE), acknowledges that they are Masons, but does not consider them regular nor recognize them. Kind of a “I see you over there, but I’m pretending you don’t exist” kind of thing. While there are a number of Grand Lodges in the EU that do recognize them, the issue in the States is a bit more complicated. The Grand Lodges in the United States that are masculine, are (most) all recognized by UGLE. That means that the differences between a non-masculine Lodge in the US and a masculine one would be too great for the two Lodges to recognize each other. As a result, non-masculine Masonry tends to not be very popular in the States, since most of the overseeing organizations are based overseas. In fact, many Masons in the United States are unaware of the existence of non-masculine Masonry, or are ill-informed on the topic.

Of course, tends to lead to some very heated arguments. Without going into too much detail, some of these arguments against non-masculine Masonry include that the authenticity of Freemasonry is lost when we ignore the rules and allow women, that it goes against the obligation taken during the degree work, and of course, that’s the way that it’s always been.Funny thing is, they are often talking about two (or more) different organizations with the same, or similar names, and varying history, in some cases dating back before the foundation of masculine Masonry.  I have found that many Masons tend to be very defensive about “their” craft. However, contrary to conspiracy theorists beliefs, Masonry was not passed down from the gods (or demons for that matter), no one person or organization owns Freemasonry, in fact, the square and compass emblem is not even trademarked, and never will be.

I think of it a bit like the difference between the Girl Scouts and the Girl Guides. Both have very similar names, and very similar goals. In fact, some of their ceremonial work is even the same, which makes sense, since they both really came from the same place. The two don’t interact on a group level, and really both just kind of do their own thing. Eventually, one became more popular than another in one country, while the opposite happened in other countries. It doesn’t make either organization less real, or one more right than the other, they are simply two different groups working toward a very similar end result.

Why did all of this happen?

There are many different reasons as to why the rift between masculine and non-masculine Masonry occurred, and why it is still perpetuated today. Most interestingly I think however, is that we know when it started. In the beginning, everyone recognized each other, and everything was all hunky-dory. However, shortly after the American Civil War,  the first case of derecognition (that is, no longer recognizing a group you once recognized) occurred. In 1869, the Grand Orient de France (GODF) recognized a Lodge in Louisiana that the Grand Lodge of Louisiana did not. The Grand Lodge of Louisiana felt that this was an invasion of their jurisdiction, and decided to remove their recognition of GODF. The Grand Lodge of Louisiana convinced many other US Grand Lodges to remove their recognition as well.

This schism grew soon after when the GODF decided to remove the belief in a higher power as a requirement for joining in 1877.  Once UGLE got wind that GODF was allowing atheists to become members, they decided to formally remove their recognition, and declared GODF irregular.  Since the majority of jurisdictions follow the lead of either GODF or UGLE, the number of Lodges deemed irregular by UGLE grew. GODF  decided to officially allow the initiation of women in 2010, causing further discord among the two major bodies of Freemasonry.

Who knows what the future of Freemasonry may hold. I would like to see the two warring groups come together as opposed to drift further apart; unfortunetly, I am not sure that this is the course that we are currently on. I think that perhaps one of the most important things to remember when it comes to this topic, is simply to respect one another. Just because you do not agree with something that someone does means that it is wrong, or not real. No matter which route you may choose, remember to keep your chin up, there’s a lot of hate out there.

I think that’s all on this topic for a bit. I hope this causes much discussion in your Lodges and households. As always, have a great week!

The Masonic Post

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I’m feeling a little under the weather today (boo!), so this article will be short and sweet. I came across these Masonic post cards not too long ago, and was really surprised, not only by how much they pertain to the topic of this blog, but also how prevalent they seem to be. There are many different styles out there, I will try to give you a taste of each.  The two themes that are common, are the phrase “on the square”, usually refers to someone being honest, and may also refer to the keeping of secrets; the other is the funky trapezoid thing with the letters “HTWSSTKS”, this is the emblem of Mark Master Masons, now a part of York Rite. Most of these are from around the early 1900’s. While the true meaning may be lost as far as many are concerned, they tend to paint a very different picture of Masonry than what most people think of when they hear the word today. Perhaps not so much has changed in the last 114 years…

“I always liked a Mason, For a Mason will not tell–The secrets you confide to him, No price can make him sell. No matter what or where or how, He’s always on “the square”. I certainly do like a Mason, for he’s fine as he is fair.”

I kind of can’t help myself but love these.

A more traditional romantic one. Would make for an awesome valentine’s day card!

Plays to the inside joke of “riding the goat”.

Another traditional romantic one.

I like this one in particular, because I think it speaks volumes, without really saying much at all.

Apparently women in the 1900’s were really worried about their beau giving away all their secrets.

Not often seen, a Shriner postcard.

Seriously, what are these women hiding?

This one is a bit rare, because the art style is so different and complex, especially for that time. (This one is from 1911)

I’m kind of starting to wonder what the big secrets were for women in the 20th century. Either it was completely mundane, or absolutely off the wall.

Of course, it wouldn’t be complete without us poking fun at ourselves.

I know that wasn’t what you usually see here, but thanks for checking it out all the same!

If anyone reading is a Co-Mason, and is willing to be interviewed, please contact me here, or shoot me an email at themasonslady@gmail.com

On that note- Have a great week!

Green-Eyed Lady

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I don’t know about you guys, but last week was kind of a crazy one. It went something like this:

Tuesday:DeMolay

Wednesday: Lodge

Thursday: OES

Friday-Sunday: DeMolay Conclave

Monday: T meets with a candidate.

Then the whole cycle repeats again with DeMolay on Tuesday! Since I had to work Wednesday, as well as the weekend, I did not get to see T much, not to mention that relaxing time alone with him was non-existent.  While I do appreciate knowing that he is men of high moral values, sometimes it can feel like Masonry can eat at your social, as well as personal life. This can tend to lead to feelings of jealousy, resentment, and all kinds of other icky stuff.

Why do I feel this way?

Let me start off by saying that any feelings you may have toward Masonry, either overall or just your Mason’s involvement, are perfectly valid. However, you’ve got to own those feelings, and if you don’t like the way that you feel, then you need to figure out what you can do to change the situation. A common reaction for women to have when they first learn about Masonry, is not true jealousy, but envy. Envy simply says, “I want what you have. Gimmie.” This is usually from the feeling of exclusion that many women experience when they realize that they cannot join regular Masonry, I know that I certainly did. Envy does not have to lead to jealousy however, and can in fact lead to very motivating thinking, such as being involved with auxiliary groups as much as possible.

Jealousy, on the other hand, says “I want what you have, and until I get it, you shouldn’t have it either.” This step beyond envy not only attempts to push you forward, but also aims to hold the other person back. Most often, when it comes to jealousy and Masonry, the feeling stems from two sources- fear and insecurity.  Many types of fear can cause us to feel jealous when our Mason is away at Lodge. Usually, however, this jealousy comes from fear of loss, and fear of the unknown. Staring with the latter, fear of the unknown si obvious when it comes to Masonry and it’s auxiliary groups. If you and your Mason just started dating, or if he is a new member, this is incredibly common. Often, new members are not sure what it is that they can tell their spouses, and therefore tend to not say anything at all. If you do not do your research (please do!), your imagination can dream up all sorts of awful things going on at the meetings. It is always important to educate yourself. Ask your Mason what you would like to know about what goes on. If he is unsure, I recommend you talk to senior members of his lodge, or pick up this book.

Fear of loss is also an extremely common root of jealousy for those involved with Masons. You see it all the time on the anti-Masonic wives “forums” (none of which seem to have been updated since 2003). Usually it sounds something like this:

I’ve two boys 21 and 17. Everyone who has responded has hit it right on the money. I thought I was the only one who was feeling this way. My husband sits on the couch and reads this little blue book after work til its time to go to bed. Not to mention he is gone every Saturday all day long for ceremonies out in the woods. Yes he calls all of them brothers now and yes I agree this is a CULT!! All he does now is spends several hours a week with them. Hours that he could be spending with his own family, working on the lawn, keeping up the pool. Nope that is on the back burner as well as me and our youngest son. Everything is so private that I don’t know where he goes or what he is doing. They have secret handshakes and secret codes. I am found home alone most of the time now. I can see that they are more important than me. Divorce is on my mind more than ever. Its a CULT and they have brainwashed him. (Gizzy) 

Ignoring for a moment all of the cult and brainwashed business, it is very clear that this woman is not only jealous of the time her husband spends involved in Masonry, but also feels that she is losing him, and therefore her marriage and everything that goes along with it, to Masonry. Very closely related to the fear of loss, another cause of jealousy is simple insecurity. The insecurity may come from anything, although most often when talking about Masonry and jealousy, the insecurity is insecurity of the relationship, or yourself. This is where the feelings of “Well, what if he meets a younger, more involved woman at Grand Lodge?” “How can I compete with a bunch of guys he is so involved with and have so much in common with?” come from.

Taming that beast

So, how can you get rid of all these nasty feelings? There are lots of suggestions out there, but I will just go over the main ones.

Recognize your jealousy, and keep it in check. Often, just recognizing that the jealousy is there can help alleviate some of the hold it has on you. In addition to this, it is important to be mindful of your own emotions, and a big part of this is knowing yourself. Try taking several deep breaths, and attempt to detach yourself from the intensity of the emotion you are feeling. This can help give you a better idea as to where its coming from, and why. Be sure and spend time alone, dancing, listening to music, going for a walk, or even just meditating, to help process your emotions.

Educate yourself. As I said above, jealousy can often come from fear of the unknown. There can be a lot of unknowns when it comes to Masonry, so it can help a great deal to turn as many of those unknowns into knowns as possible. As I linked above, I strongly recommend FreeMasonry for Dummies, as a very nice introduction, that provides resources for more in-depth information if you feel you are still lacking. Ask your Mason questions. If he doesn’t know, ask the senior members of his Lodge. If his Lodge has a library, ask if you can borrow books (they won’t be hiding any secrets there though!) You may be surprised as to how much of Masonry isn’t a secret.

Communicate with your Mason. Perhaps one of the most important, and simplest answers. If you do not tell your Mason that you are jealous that he is spending three nights a week at Lodge, he may think that everything is fine and dandy. You’re not a mind reader, and neither is he. If you feel that he is spending too much time at Lodge, and not enough at home, let him know, and try to work out a compromise. You two may decide that two nights a week is a maximum, or, perhaps that Masonry is just not good for your relationship at this time in your lives. If you don’t speak up, nothing will change, and you will find yourself just getting more and more frustrated.

Get involved. While I know that this is not the answer for everyone, many women find attending Lodge dinners and other Masonic functions quite enjoyable. You may find solace with the Sisters in the Order of the Eastern Star, or just with the ladies who play cards during the business meetings. Attending Masonic events will not only help you expand your social circle, but you may find that once you realize just how boring waiting for a three-hour Master Mason degree to be done can be, that you are more okay with your Mason attending more Masonic functions. Getting involved goes hand in hand with educating yourself, and helps eradicate the fear of the unknown.

Perhaps the most important thing to say about it all is simply: Own your feelings. Don’t let them own you.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful week, and as always, feel free to contact me with any questions!

I Will Be a Man for My Brethren

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French Masonry is a little bit different from what we have here in the states, and even what there is in the UK. This was especially true in the middle of the 18th century. During this time, Freemasonry was beginning to spread throughout the country, from England. While France did follow all of the rules placed by the Grand Lodge of All England, the precursor to UGLE, there was one that they did feel needed a bit of bending. In England, women were not allowed to become Masons, nor were they allowed to attend the banquets or religious services put on by them. France felt that this was a little unnecessary, and they allowed women to attend these events.

As the number of women attending the events grew, so did their want for an organization of their own. There was a separate lodge created, called the Lodge of Adoption. The idea was quite simple, the women would have their own sets of degrees, and were held to similar standards as the regular Masons. However, a Lodge of Adoption could not exist without a supporting, and perhaps governing, regular, masculine Lodge of Masons. Soon after their inception, the Lodges of Adoption came under the jurisdiction of the Grand Orient de France (France’s version of UGLE), who decided that they were consitutional, then unconstitutional, then consitutional, then eventually, they made up their minds and decided that they were unconstitutional. The Lodges of Adoption eventually formed their own jurisdiction, Grand Loge feminine de France. The creation of the Lodges of Adoption were the beginning of what we call co-Masonry today.

A Lodge of Adoption ceremony

Shortly after the Lodge of Adoption had been established, although, the exact date is not known, a Lodge in Paris known as The Lodge of Freres-Artistes, or The Lodge of Artist Brothers, was preparing to open to give a Fete of Adoption, the ritual that opened the Lodge of Adoption, and initiated new women into the Lodge of Adoption that was associated with their Lodge. Before they had opened to receive the women, however, they opened a regular Lodge in the first degree to take care of some other business. As you may or may not know, during the opening of a Lodge, a call is put out for any visitors. Indeed, this Lodge did have a visitor, a young man in a Calgary captain’s uniform. The asked for his certificate, his way of them knowing that he was who he said he was, and he handed it over with little hesitation. It was folded when he handed it to the Senior Deacon, and remained folded until it was passed to the Orator of the Lodge. When the Orator opened it, and read it aloud to the  Lodge, they became very excited, and declared that the Captain should be conferred the first degree at once. More on why in a moment.

Remember, that this was the end of the 18th century in France. The French Revolution was still going on, or may have just been winding down. A young General, named Charles Antoine Dominique Xaintrailles commanded a body of the Army of the Rhone and Moselle, one of the Armies of the Republic, who fought against the revolutionaries. This was a tough time for the people of France, and often women would  often masquerade as men so as to avoid being the victims of sexual violence. General Xaintrailles had a mistress whom he wanted to protect from this, and so, he made her his aide-de-camp. Kind of like a second in command, and aide-de-camp is an officer, whose job is to monitor a senior officer and help enforce his orders. apparently Madame de Xaintrailles was no dainty flower, as she rose to the rank of captain “at the point of the sword.”*

The French Revolution. Not a happy time for anyone.

You see where this is going right? That young captain waiting in the anteroom of the lodge was Madame de Xaintrailles, and the certificate she had handed to the Senior Deacon was the one showing her commission as an aide-de-camp. Apparently, once the certificate was read aloud, the members of the lodge were astonished, and quickly grew very excited. They decided, both unanimously and spontaneously, that she should receive the First degree. Not the first degree of the Lodge of Adoption that they were about to open mind you, but the First degree of speculative, regular, Masonry to Madame de Xaintrailles. They felt that she had “so many times…displayed all the virtues of a man and had deserved to be charged with important missions which required as much courage as discretion and prudence.”*

After being told the decision of the Lodge, she was asked if she would accept. She simply replied,

“I am a man for my country, I will be a man for my Brethren.”

And so, the initiation took place, and Madame de Xaintrailles became a very active member of her Lodge.

How, you may ask, did they ever let this happen? The Reverend, Past Grand Chaplain of England, commented that he failed “to see how the French Brethren were to blame, or how they could have done otherwise under the circumstances. We who know the heroism of English womanhood—not to speak of other peoples—in the adjourned war of the world cannot help speculating humourously what might have been done by himself under similar circumstances, had his gracious presence filled the Chair in the East during any of these recent years.”

Just so you know what’s going on down here, I’ve been asked a few times where I get this information from. I am going to do my best to cite work where I can, so that if you would like to read more on the topic, you can. Let me know if there are any questions.

*The Builder Magazine, February 1921, Vol 7, No. 2

Woman and Freemasonry Dudley Wright

A New Encyclopedia of Freemasonry A.E. Waite

Ladies at the Table

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Ever have one of those days where everything falls perfectly into place, where nothing deviates from the plan, and everything works out just wonderfully? Saturday was not that day. T and I were set to host Ladies at the Table at the lodge, and numerous things went wrong, including my truck breaking down, the smoker not cooking the brisket not once, but twice, and I think I caught the stove on fire at one point. Luckily, T’s quick thinking resulted in us only being 30 minutes behind schedule, and we were able to have a wonderful dinner and table lodge with our friends and family.

Ladies where?

Ladies at the Table is a very different kind of Masonic event. It is not a degree, a ritual, or ceremony, but it does fall under the jurisdiction of your Grand Lodge, and is usually held at Grand Lodge Communications. The idea is that this is the time for a lodge to show their respect and honor toward a Mason’s lady, widow, mother, daughter, sweetheart, sister…I think you get the picture.  Since, more often than not, the Mason will leave his lady home while he eats at the lodge, this is an opportunity for her to come and feel not only welcomed, but supported and honored in her role as a Mason’s lady. It also gives the ladies of the lodge a chance to not only meet the men that her Mason has been hanging out with, but also the other ladies at the lodge, and perhaps spark her interest in joining the Masonic community.

I will get to how the whole business runs, and it really is quite fun, in a moment. First, I want to go over where the idea came from in the first place. During the 18th century, another type of Masonry was being practiced in France, called French Rite, which was established to parallel Masonry. These “Adoptive Lodges”, were women only, and were called such because a regular Masonic lodge “adopted” them. These lodges had four degrees, Apprentice (or Female Apprentice); Compagnone (or Craftswoman); Maitresse (or Mistress); and Parfaite Maconne (or Perfect Mason.) The fourth degree ended with a Table Lodge, or ceremonial banquet. There is a large possibility that young Englishmen, that were en route to be trained as British military officers attended the final degree, or at least the dinner that followed, and brought it back to regular Masonry .The table lodge is still practiced today in many regular jurisdictions, you may have attended one on Saint John’s Day, or around the winter holidays. Please note- Ladies at the Table is not Adoptive Masonry. It is simply a  borrowed ceremony that is used by a regular Lodge of Masons to show respect and honor to the Ladies of their Lodge.

The “U” shape. Not ours, I did not think that far ahead!

How is this different from a regular Lodge or Chapter meeting?

If you’ve never been to a table lodge, or Ladies at the Table before, you will find that it is quite unlike anything else you have experienced within Masonry before. As I said above, it is not a Masonic ritual, in fact, T and I decided to make ours a very casual, relaxed event. This does not mean, however, that it is not without it’s own set of governing rules. While these vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, as well as Lodge to Lodge, I will give you a general idea:

  • Traditionally there are 5 courses and 7 toasts to the meal. Our Lodge decided to be much more informal, and relaxed, and therefore had 3 courses, and probably 10 toasts. Some will say that this does not make it a true “table lodge”, but I think that a lot of things like this you need to adapt to fit your own needs and desires.
  • The tables are set in a U shape, with the altar, holding the Bible or other holy book, in the center. T had been in charge of choosing the ritual and letting me know what we needed, and after all of the stress of the day, we realized we had missed this part. Life goes on.
  • Wine is the only alcohol served. You may see a lot of rules about how much wine everyone should be poured, or even what alcohol percentage the wine should be. Unless your Grand Lodge has specific rules for this, do what suits your needs.
  • The ladies should not be the ones cooking, or serving this meal. The idea is to show how much you appreciate them by doing what they normally might on any other lodge night.
T demonstrating the meaning of the word

T demonstrating the meaning of the word “Fire.”

How does the whole thing work, though?

The table lodge is opened similarly as regular lodge might, albeit a much abridged version, with only a few speaking parts, all suitable for the public of course. Usually the opening ceremonies include a short history of the table lodge, or of  Ladies at the Table itself, as well as a history of the lodge that it is taking place in.The Chaplin gives a prayer to open. All of the work is conducted by the Worshipful Master, of course, who sits in the middle table of the “U” with his lady. After opening the Ladies at the Table, dinner is served. When everyone has had their fill, the real fun begins.

In addition to their water cups, everyone has a large shot glass at their seat. This is a special type of shot glass that is a bit thicker on the bottom, and with good reason. It is referred to as a “cannon”, and looks like this. After dinner is over, but before the toasts begin, someone, either the Worshipful Master or the Steward, instructs those attending how the toasts will be done. It goes something like this:

WM: “Brother Senior Steward, charge and align the Cannons of the column of the North. Brother Junior Steward, charge and align the Cannons of the column of the South.” The Stewards fill everyone’s cannons with wine.

WM: “Brothers Senior and Junior Steward, are you cannons charged?” They answer affirmatively.

The WM recognizes the person giving the toast, all rise, and the toast is given.

WM: “With me…” Everyone repeats the last line of the toast, for instance, “to the United States of America,” raising their cannons normally.

WM: “Ready.” Everyone  brings their cannons closer to their body.

WM: “Aim.” Cannon is brought to the lips.

WM: “Fire!” The shot of wine is downed.

WM:”Order.” The cannon is brought to just above the table.

WM: “Arms.” Everyone slams their cannon down on the table, hopefully at the same time, resulting in a terrific noise. (Usually it tends to get better with time, and then worse again.)

Traditionally, there are seven toasts made, as I stated above. At a Ladies at the Table, they are as follows:

  • To the first lady of the United States
  • To the wife of the Grand Master
  • To 3 different women of the Lodge
  • To our mothers
  • To our ladies

We chose to do things a bit differently, and added many of our own toasts, including:

  • To our service men and women
  • To the United States of America
  • To our Grand Lodge
  • To the Craft
  • T also added a special poem he had found about the ladies for the final toast. You can see that here.
The cannons being charged.

The cannons being charged.

So, the point is….?

If you are thinking to yourself that there must be something more to this than having a nice dinner, shooting wine, and being with the ladies of the lodge, then you would be pondering what else there is for some time. The whole point is to relax, have a nice time, and be with friends and family.

If any of you are interested in hosting your own Ladies at the Table, let me know! I would love to hear stories of the way that other Lodges decide to put it on. Make it your own, and start your own tradition!