Tag Archives: family and masonry

Shout Out for CHiP

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This past Thursday, T and I were helping run one of the most important events that the Masons coordinate. It wasn’t a fundraiser, or a fancy ball, instead, we gave our services away for free.

The CHiP program, or Child Identification Program, sometimes called Masonichip, is a service that Masons help provide, that parents hope they never have to use. CHiP helps create a packet for your child, containing current photographs, a short video, fingerprints, a DNA sample, a scent pad (for scent dogs), and dental impressions. The idea is that in the event a child goes missing, a parent who has participated in the CHiP program simply has to give the packet to police, which will hopefully greatly assist in finding the lost child. Despite what many conspiracy theorists want you to believe, the CHiP program does not microchip or mark your child in anyway, nor is any of the information kept on a list. Nothing, in fact is saved as far as the Masons are concerned, and all of the information goes home with the parent or guardian. Since they grow so fast, it is recommended that a new CHiP packet is made each year in order to have the most up to date information. Often CHiP events are held at county or state fairs, the one that T and I helped out at was at my hospital’s safety fair.

The CHiP program is 100% funded by Masons, and it is Masons and their families that help run the events themselves. The CHiP program actually works directly with the Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I’m not going to go terribly into too much detail about this topic, because I run the risk of repeating myself. If you would like to know more about the CHiP program and similar programs funded and ran by Masons, including Take25, you can check out last year’s post here. The national CHiP website can be found here. Although often, an individual state will have its own separate website. If Masons do not have a CHiP program in your state or jurisdiction, there is lots of information on the national site about making that happen.I highly encourage you to do so if it is not available in your state.

I’m keeping it short and sweet for this week. I feel that this is a very important program that certainly warrants passing the word along from year to year. If you would like to get involved with a CHiP program in your state, or would like to help start a CHiP program in your state, contact your Grand Lodge.If you have kids and find yourself at an event where a CHiP program is running, I would highly encourage you to have your children participate. It is wonderful for both the welfare of your children, and helps support Masonry at the same time.

That’s all for now; hope you have a wonderful week!

I’m Masonic Youth, and You Can Too!

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Life is hectic. Between work, Lodge, Masonic dinners, and other activities, T and I are forced to schedule time together- and we don’t even have kids yet! A major component of our activities revolves around supporting the Masonic youth organization DeMolay; as I have said before, T and I are both adult advisors. We had our first advisory panel meeting since I joined recently, and even though I was exhausted from work, I came to realize just how much goes into running these groups, and more than that, how often they can be overlooked by the rest of the Masonic family.

What is Masonic Youth?

I go into greater detail on each organization here, but this is the quick recap. There are three Masonic youth organizations, DeMolay for boys, Job’s Daughters for girls with Masonic relations, and Rainbow for Girls, who accepts members with and without a Masonic relationship. The ages for each group varies, but they all age out at 21; old enough to be a member of a Lodge or Chapter for 3 years, which allows them to theoretically transition from one group to the next.

The groups do a lot of different things together, but most activities fall into one of a few categories: regular business meetings, initiation/ritual practice, fun nights, service activities, and fundraising. Each group is set up so that the youth are the ones in charge; they run the meetings, vote on activities, give the obligation to new members, etc. In addition to this, each group has one or two state wide conferences each year, which usually includes ritual competition as well as group activities between Chapters. Some states may have mixed conferences every so often, such as MYLC.

In short, Masonic Youth groups provide excellent opportunities for kids that might not receive them otherwise. The minimal cost (I pay $20 a year for my dues), intermingling of groups (i.e. DeMolay sweetheart, dances), lack of religious affiliation, and Masonic connection and values makes them more appealing for many families over other youth groups, such as the Boy Scouts of America.

What are some issues these groups are facing?

Like all of the Masonic organizations, the biggest issue the youth groups are facing is membership numbers. Following in the footsteps of Blue Lodge, none of the organizations openly advertise, and instead rely solely on word of mouth. As many members of Masonic organizations know, membership numbers have been dwindling in the last decade. It can be very hard to interest people, especially teenagers, to come out and do extra “work” (you would be amazed at the difference of guys that come to fun nights vs nights we volunteer to wash dishes), in addition to school, and for some, jobs. The membership issue, in turn, leads to a lack of public interest and knowledge, and the cycle is fueled again.

While I cannot speak for all chapters of these organizations, I can tell you a bit about what is going on in my own. One cannot say that there is a lack of leadership within our Chapter, in fact, we have a few guys that make excellent and natural leaders, that help the Chapter flow the way that it should. These guys volunteer first, are always there on service days, and encourage others to do the same. The issue is it tends to be the same handful of guys that are in this position. Ideally, everyone should be taking turns filling the leadership roles. This I feel, however, is more due to the nature of the beast that is teenagers. Often, youth feel insecure in themselves, are wary about what their peers think of them, and therefore would rather follow than lead.

Another issue that most, if not all, of the Masonic youth organizations face, is that of money. Each Chapter, Bethel or Assembly must be sponsored by an adult Masonic body. Our DeMolay Chapter is sponsored by our local Shrine, for instance. Usually this simply means that the Lodge, Shrine, or Chapter allows the youth to use their facilities for their meetings. We are lucky enough at our Chapter that our sponsor also allows us to be active in supporting events that they put on, mostly through service. Sponsorship does not, however, usually entail much funding, if any. The majority of the funds required by a Masonic youth organization, come from the public, either fund-raising done by the youth, or from the adult advisors.

What are they doing to remedy these issues?

As I said above, Masonic youth organizations are not really advertised the way that other youth groups are. Often, the only way someone even knows they exist is if their child is a member. At one time, DeMolay used to be a household name (I suppose the same could be said for Masonry), but all you will get is funny looks if you ask around. To my knowledge, no real changes have been made on this front (at least for DeMolay). Unlike Freemasonry, Masonic Youth organizations do have an International Council. Statewide, the youth are encouraged to bring in new members, but that is more or less where that ends. Although all of the groups have moved onto social media, this tends to serve more for communication between members more than anything else. Personally, I am not so sure what I would do to bring in more members, but I do know that something needs to be done if these organizations want to continue in the States. Oddly enough, Brazil and Australia have a booming Masonic youth population. Let’s hope that the US takes a page from our Masonic families overseas.

How a group handles the issue of youth leadership really depends on the needs of the specific Chapter, Bethel, or Assembly. Masonic youth groups encourage youth leadership because they are all lead by the youth, instead of by an adult leader, like Boy/Girl Scouts of America. Just like Blue Lodge and other branches of Masonry, these offices exist on a state level, and unlike Masonry, exist on an international level as well. As far as encouraging the youth to take up these positions is concerned, our Chapter is trying a few different methods. We’ve gotten a bit lax over the years with dress, and we want to encourage our members to dress in business casual, instead of shorts and a t-shirt. Many of them will be joining Blue Lodge soon, and this helps ease that transition, and also helps create feeling of specialness when the Chapter is open.

As far as the issue of money is concerned, there always seems to be only one answer: fund-raising. Our Chapter sells baked goods, and I am sure that Job’s and Rainbow does something similar. Of course, all of the members do pay dues, however the dues cost is low enough that it does not put a lot into our coffers. We rely a good deal on donations from the public, both Masons and not. Many of our activities are paid by the guys themselves, for instance if we go out for ice cream, our comes out of the advisors pockets, like gas money when we go to state events.

What can I do to help?

As always, the number one answer is get involved. I cannot tell you what an awesome time I have had in just the few months that I have been an advisor. If you have the time, and meet the requirements I highly recommend it. You can find your local group through Google, or click the name of the organization, which will take you to the main page. By the way, here are the requirements to become a Masonic youth advisor:

DeMolay
*Any adult 21 and older
*No Masonic affiliation is required

Job’s Daughters
*At least 20 years of age and:
Master Mason
Majority Job’s Daughter
Person of Masonic heritage
Parent, grandparent, stepparent, or guardian of an active or majority member of the bethel

Rainbow for Girls
*At least 24 years old and :
Master Mason
Majority Rainbow Girl
Member of Eastern Star, White Shrine, or Amaranth
Parent, grandparent, or guardian of an active or majority Rainbow Girl

If circumstances do not allow you to become an advisor, there are many other ways to get involved. Encourage your children to become members. If you do not have kids of your own, recommend the organization to friends who are looking for activities for theirs. Suggest to your WM that your Lodge support a Masonic youth group that may be looking for a new home. Contact the head of the group in your area, and see if you can sit in on a meeting, to see what it is all about. Attend public events put on by the groups, and encourage others to do the same. Welcome and greet a Masonic youth just as you would any other Mason or affiliated member, encourage them to also attend your events. This will also help your Lodge or Chapter’s membership when the time comes. If nothing else, donate. Time, money, your backyard pool; it may not seem like much to you, but it can make a world of difference to them.

Green-Eyed Lady

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I don’t know about you guys, but last week was kind of a crazy one. It went something like this:

Tuesday:DeMolay

Wednesday: Lodge

Thursday: OES

Friday-Sunday: DeMolay Conclave

Monday: T meets with a candidate.

Then the whole cycle repeats again with DeMolay on Tuesday! Since I had to work Wednesday, as well as the weekend, I did not get to see T much, not to mention that relaxing time alone with him was non-existent.  While I do appreciate knowing that he is men of high moral values, sometimes it can feel like Masonry can eat at your social, as well as personal life. This can tend to lead to feelings of jealousy, resentment, and all kinds of other icky stuff.

Why do I feel this way?

Let me start off by saying that any feelings you may have toward Masonry, either overall or just your Mason’s involvement, are perfectly valid. However, you’ve got to own those feelings, and if you don’t like the way that you feel, then you need to figure out what you can do to change the situation. A common reaction for women to have when they first learn about Masonry, is not true jealousy, but envy. Envy simply says, “I want what you have. Gimmie.” This is usually from the feeling of exclusion that many women experience when they realize that they cannot join regular Masonry, I know that I certainly did. Envy does not have to lead to jealousy however, and can in fact lead to very motivating thinking, such as being involved with auxiliary groups as much as possible.

Jealousy, on the other hand, says “I want what you have, and until I get it, you shouldn’t have it either.” This step beyond envy not only attempts to push you forward, but also aims to hold the other person back. Most often, when it comes to jealousy and Masonry, the feeling stems from two sources- fear and insecurity.  Many types of fear can cause us to feel jealous when our Mason is away at Lodge. Usually, however, this jealousy comes from fear of loss, and fear of the unknown. Staring with the latter, fear of the unknown si obvious when it comes to Masonry and it’s auxiliary groups. If you and your Mason just started dating, or if he is a new member, this is incredibly common. Often, new members are not sure what it is that they can tell their spouses, and therefore tend to not say anything at all. If you do not do your research (please do!), your imagination can dream up all sorts of awful things going on at the meetings. It is always important to educate yourself. Ask your Mason what you would like to know about what goes on. If he is unsure, I recommend you talk to senior members of his lodge, or pick up this book.

Fear of loss is also an extremely common root of jealousy for those involved with Masons. You see it all the time on the anti-Masonic wives “forums” (none of which seem to have been updated since 2003). Usually it sounds something like this:

I’ve two boys 21 and 17. Everyone who has responded has hit it right on the money. I thought I was the only one who was feeling this way. My husband sits on the couch and reads this little blue book after work til its time to go to bed. Not to mention he is gone every Saturday all day long for ceremonies out in the woods. Yes he calls all of them brothers now and yes I agree this is a CULT!! All he does now is spends several hours a week with them. Hours that he could be spending with his own family, working on the lawn, keeping up the pool. Nope that is on the back burner as well as me and our youngest son. Everything is so private that I don’t know where he goes or what he is doing. They have secret handshakes and secret codes. I am found home alone most of the time now. I can see that they are more important than me. Divorce is on my mind more than ever. Its a CULT and they have brainwashed him. (Gizzy) 

Ignoring for a moment all of the cult and brainwashed business, it is very clear that this woman is not only jealous of the time her husband spends involved in Masonry, but also feels that she is losing him, and therefore her marriage and everything that goes along with it, to Masonry. Very closely related to the fear of loss, another cause of jealousy is simple insecurity. The insecurity may come from anything, although most often when talking about Masonry and jealousy, the insecurity is insecurity of the relationship, or yourself. This is where the feelings of “Well, what if he meets a younger, more involved woman at Grand Lodge?” “How can I compete with a bunch of guys he is so involved with and have so much in common with?” come from.

Taming that beast

So, how can you get rid of all these nasty feelings? There are lots of suggestions out there, but I will just go over the main ones.

Recognize your jealousy, and keep it in check. Often, just recognizing that the jealousy is there can help alleviate some of the hold it has on you. In addition to this, it is important to be mindful of your own emotions, and a big part of this is knowing yourself. Try taking several deep breaths, and attempt to detach yourself from the intensity of the emotion you are feeling. This can help give you a better idea as to where its coming from, and why. Be sure and spend time alone, dancing, listening to music, going for a walk, or even just meditating, to help process your emotions.

Educate yourself. As I said above, jealousy can often come from fear of the unknown. There can be a lot of unknowns when it comes to Masonry, so it can help a great deal to turn as many of those unknowns into knowns as possible. As I linked above, I strongly recommend FreeMasonry for Dummies, as a very nice introduction, that provides resources for more in-depth information if you feel you are still lacking. Ask your Mason questions. If he doesn’t know, ask the senior members of his Lodge. If his Lodge has a library, ask if you can borrow books (they won’t be hiding any secrets there though!) You may be surprised as to how much of Masonry isn’t a secret.

Communicate with your Mason. Perhaps one of the most important, and simplest answers. If you do not tell your Mason that you are jealous that he is spending three nights a week at Lodge, he may think that everything is fine and dandy. You’re not a mind reader, and neither is he. If you feel that he is spending too much time at Lodge, and not enough at home, let him know, and try to work out a compromise. You two may decide that two nights a week is a maximum, or, perhaps that Masonry is just not good for your relationship at this time in your lives. If you don’t speak up, nothing will change, and you will find yourself just getting more and more frustrated.

Get involved. While I know that this is not the answer for everyone, many women find attending Lodge dinners and other Masonic functions quite enjoyable. You may find solace with the Sisters in the Order of the Eastern Star, or just with the ladies who play cards during the business meetings. Attending Masonic events will not only help you expand your social circle, but you may find that once you realize just how boring waiting for a three-hour Master Mason degree to be done can be, that you are more okay with your Mason attending more Masonic functions. Getting involved goes hand in hand with educating yourself, and helps eradicate the fear of the unknown.

Perhaps the most important thing to say about it all is simply: Own your feelings. Don’t let them own you.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful week, and as always, feel free to contact me with any questions!

All in the Family

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For those of you who don’t know me personally, I work at a children’s hospital in my city, caring for babes and teenagers alike. While I was at work this past weekend, my mind wandered to Freemasonry, and how it relates to and affects our families.  After a few quick Google searches, I was a bit flabbergasted to learn that there was actually little to no factual, informative material on how the two interact, and indeed, support one another.

Generation to generation

Perhaps the most common, and often the most asked about topic when it comes to Masonry and family is that of Masonic lineage. Since Masonry was very popular in the 1920’s and 30’s, many of your grandparents or great (or perhaps even great-great), grandparents were involved. You may be surprised to discover this about your family, but with a little bit of digging, asking family, and making some phone calls, it is fairly easy to ascertain a distant relative’s lodge.  This does take a bit more legwork than just doing a Google search, because most lodges do not keep records of past members on their websites, and even if they do, it is usually only the names of past Worshipful Masters. If you are having a hard time tracking down a relative’s credentials, I would recommend contacting the Grand Lodge that you believe they were a member of most recently.

Something that happens not as often as I think it should is one family member raising another into the lodge. This is most often seen as father to son, but I have heard numerous stories of uncle to nephew, cousin to cousin, (blood) brother to brother, and even occasionally, a son raising his father.  T was lucky enough to be raised by his wonderful stepfather, who also installed him as Worshipful Master this year; and¸will be raising T’s oldest brother near the end of this year.

Sometimes, however, I think that sometimes there is a break between generations, usually for one of two reasons, but of course not limited to these two. The first case is that the father is not sure how to approach the subject with his son. For whatever reason, the Mason may feel uncomfortable discussing it, or may not be sure how to approach the topic. Related to this, the father may feel that his son needs to ask, since Masonry heavily enforces the “to be one, ask one” concept. The other way that it usually skips a generation, is that the son may not be interested, or may reject his father’s invitation. This was the case with my own family, as my father was invited to join lodge by my grandfather, but my father was not interested in Masonry at the time. I was more than happy to pick up the torch and continue the tradition of being a Masonic family.

The Masonic Family

Usually when someone is discussing the idea of the Masonic family, they are talking about all of the groups related to Masonry, Blue Lodge, Job’s Daughters, Scottish Rite, etc.  And, it is true, Masonry is a type of family within its own right, both within a specific organization, as well as between. There is, however, another type of Masonic family, perhaps the one that the outsider may think of first- the family raised in and brought together through Masonry. Freemasonry actually lends itself to this idea quite easily.

When you think about it, the idea really makes sense, and the organization of Masonry is that every family member can be a part of it. As you know, there are numerous organizations for women and youth. In addition to this, however, all lodges and jurisdictions put on some sort of family event at least once a year, but usually much more often than that. These usually include picnics, trips to the zoo and circus, or even just a BBQ at the lodge building. The nice thing is that it does not usually take much to organize a family event, and it allows you to meet other families that you already have something in common with-Masonry. If, for some reason, events do not happen like this at your lodge, suggest them to the Worshipful Master or events committee, or even volunteer to put it together yourself.

One of the things that Masonry offers that I feel are not mentioned as much as it should be, is support. Yes, usually support for the Mason is mentioned, however the amount of support that is available to the family as a whole is usually not mentioned to anyone other than the Mason himself.  One of the focuses of Freemasonry is charity, and this extends to its members as well. The two main ways of support that Masonry offers are financial- the Masonic Relief Fund is set up by every lodge and grand lodge, to serve as assistance in dire financial straits. The other form of financial support is through scholarships- for college, mostly, although my chapter does give one out for a Masonic youth band camp. In addition to the financial support, Masonry offers a wide array of emotional support as well; not only through fellowship, but also through actual support groups, such as Masonic widows and widowers. These vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction of course, but many groups are moving online, making them more accessible.

Most often, when you look for something regarding Masonry and families, you will quickly come across two kinds of posts: you will find a lot of conspiracy theorists stating that Masonry is evil and set out to brainwash the men and kidnap the women, and, you will find a number of women that claim that Masonry is the reason for their divorce. Please remember, that above all else, Masonry teaches that family comes first. Masonry is not out to take your husband away from you, nor is it looking to ruin your marriage. Instead, enjoy the nights that your husband goes to lodge, do something nice for yourself, or something special with your children. If you feel that he is becoming too involved in lodge, or that it is becoming a priority over his family, communicate that with him. If he, for whatever reason, does not agree with you, or is not interested in talking with you about it, contact his Worshipful Master and express your concerns to him. In addition to this, if you have a question about lodge, Masonry, or anything related, or simply want to learn more, ask. The only things he cannot share with you are usually specific words or phrases used in the ritual, and secret symbols, such as handshakes.
The point of all of this is, quite simply, that Masonry is more than just something for the Mason, or the man of a household. Masonry can easily encompass the entire family’s needs and social calendar. More than that, Freemasonry allows for a family tradition to be started, or continued, and is something that is easily passed on from generation to generation. Nothing is cooler than receiving pins that belonged to a great-grandparent whom you never met, and know that you stand where they once did. It is a way of bringing the entire family together, not drive you apart, as some people would have you believe. Long story short, Freemasonry is a family affair.

What would you do if your child went missing?

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I was lucky enough to attend my first CHiP event last week, conveniently at my hospital, on a day that I happened to work. I think that the CHiP program is important enough, and prevalent enough within Masonry, that I wanted to help spread the word.

What’s this about chips?

CHiP (sometimes called Masonichip) is the Masonic child identification program, designed to help the authorities find missing children. Here’s how it works: you take your child to a CHiP event, and they will make you a packet for your child, including digital still photo, fingerprints, a DNA sample (from a mouth swab), a short video, a scent pad (for scent dogs), and dental imprints. You get to keep all of the information, there is no giant database that all of this information is kept in, in fact, they delete all of the information after they create your kit, so if you lose any part of it, you will need to go to a new event and remake the part that you lost (or make a new kit). Currently more than 1.5 million kits have been completed in the United States (I believe the program is also in Canada). The program is free of charge.

What does this have to do with Masonry?

The CHiP program is 100% Mason owned and operated, in fact, it was created at the 2004 conference of Grand Masters. It is a charitable initiative, and is primarily funded by the jurisdiction’s Grand Lodge. All CHiP events are staffed by volunteers from local lodges (depending on your jurisdiction, one lodge may always volunteer, or there may be a rotation system). It serves as a wonderful opportunity for you to donate your time to give back to the community, and the idea of helping create something tangible (the kit), may give more of a sense of satisfaction than simply donating money.

Of course, no Masonic charity is without it’s bling. CHiP offers scarves and ties. They are covered in rainbow hand prints, to remind us of the impressions that child leave on our lives. They are kind of loud- but that is the idea here, it gets people to ask, “What’s up with that tie?” Apparently, all brothers that are lawyers will wear them to court when the case involves children in any manner (how cool!). You can order them here.

I was lucky enough to attend my first CHiP event last week, conveniently at my hospital, on a day that I happened to work. I think that the CHiP program is important enough, and prevalent enough within Masonry, that I wanted to help spread the word.

I thought the police department did this?

In some states, the local police or fire department runs a different kind of program. Interestingly, the program that the authorities used is actually based on CHiP, not the other way around. The main difference between the public (police, fire, etc) and the private (Masonic) programs is the way in which the information is handled. In the public programs, all of the information is stored in a searchable database, that the authorities have access to at a moment’s notice. In the CHiP program, however, there is no database, all of the information is deleted after it is confirmed correct and placed in your kit, and you are the only one that has access to the information. This is why if you lose any part of the kit, you have to go and make a new one.

I read about Take 25, what’s that about?

The CHiP program started working in collaboration with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in 2007 to create a program called Take 25. The idea is simple. Take 25 minutes of your time, to have a conversation with your children (or kids you babysit, friends your kids have over, younger siblings, etc), about safety and abduction prevention. It’s 25 minutes, and not 30, to correspond with National Missing Children’s Day, May 25. Their website has a number of resources available, including conversation starters, safety tips, and general information for you, as well as for your child. It’s a little bit like talking with kids about drugs. You don’t want to think that it will happen, you don’t want to even think about it, but it is more important to talk about it with your kiddos than to ignore the fact that it happens every day. The CHiP program mixes in with the idea of Take25, any child old enough to speak will ask what’s going on, making it a perfect time to talk with them in the event that an abduction or similar would happen. In fact, all CHiP events are also Take25 events, and information for both will be readily available.

Do these programs actually have an impact?

While we can’t be for certain, it’s clear that having programs like CHiP and Take25 are far better than children having no education about the topic, and you having no similar records of them at all. 

Here are some statistics:

  • Approximately 800,000 children younger than 18 were reported missing, since 1999.
    • More than 200,000 children were abducted by family members.
    • More than 58,000 children were abducted by non-family members.
    • An estimated 115 children were the victims of “stereotypical” kidnapping. 
    • The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® has assisted law enforcement in the recovery of more than 193,705 missing children since it was founded in 1984. Their  recovery rate for missing children has grown from 62 percent in 1990 to 97 percent today.
  • The MasoniChip program has generated over 1.5 Million “Completed ID Packs” of children for parents since 2004
    • It has conducted over 15,000 events in America alone
      • My home state has held over 311 events, making packets for 37,577 children
    • They have identified over 4,200 children

How can I get involved?

Number one, best answer, hands down- volunteer your time. The events do not run themselves, and in fact take a good deal of man power to put on, especially the larger events. Volunteer with your lodge buddies, or your SO, volunteering for children is a wonderful opportunity. If you are not able to volunteer your time, funds are most often needed when starting up a CHiP program, as the computers are all dedicated for the program, and therefore can become fairly costly. Ask your Worshipful Master if the program is run by Masons in your state, I believe about 18 jurisdictions run the program at this time. If it is not offered in your state, get together with the right people, and get it started. There are also a number of resources available for starting up a program, found here. Each jurisdiction’s program has their own website, which can usually be found on the corresponding Grand Lodge’s website. There is a place to find local events on the main site, but I am not sure that it is working at this time. 

The MasoniChip program’s website is here.

I sincerely hope no one ever needs the information obtained through CHiP, but I would much rather that you have that information!

Have a great week!