Tag Archives: mason

Masonic Education for All

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I’m not certain how often this is noticed, but I do tend to write about topics that either rub me the wrong way or rub others the wrong way. What can I say? Apparently, my writing motivation is just wired that way. Fair warning, this is a bit of a rant.

Recently, an acquaintance started a Masonic Education group. I think that this is a wonderful thing. Freemasonry tends to be a very large topic, and has a lot of nooks and crannies, sometimes the meaning of one sentence can be teased out for hours on end. I think that’s great. Any sort of intellectual conversation that is friendly, and makes you think, and challenges what you know and believe should always be encouraged in my opinion. It’s a wonderful way to further the community, as well as a great way to help people understand things in ways they might not have thought of before.

That being said. I will never attend the education group. It has nothing to do with the people running the group, or that I disagree or dislike the topics being discussed, or even that I simply don’t have the time. It’s because I’m not allowed.

Now, as many of you know, I am okay with not being allowed to become a Mason. I would simply like something similar for myself. Separate but equal. The only thing missing is the pedigree; alas, that is another post altogether.

However, I am a firm believer that Masonic education should be for everyone, both Masons, and non-Masons, as well as for men, women, and everyone in between. As it stands, Freemasonry supports this idea as well. UGLE has made a number of positive statements about the existence of the women’s Lodges. The Master Craftsman of the Scottish Rite is open to absolutely everyone. Many Annual Communications have Masonic Education breakfasts that are open. The first year that I attended an education breakfast, I was told that they would have to double-check that it was okay. When I got the go ahead, I was the only woman there. The following year, I was very happy to see other women attending.

I think that the thing that bothers me the most, is that not allowing open communication and education on Masonic topics is only furthering the issue of miscommunication about Freemasonry, not only online, but also in Lodges, and relationships. Turning inward and denying others something as simple as education hurts not only those you turn from, but also Freemasonry as a whole.

I would love to have a time where I could have an intellectual conversation about things like the symbolism used within the degrees. Yes, I understand secret work could not be discussed with non-Masons, but secret work is a very small portion of what Freemasonry is really all about. Discouraging interested non-Masons from conversing about Masonic educational topics often leads to disgruntled Google searches, which usually links either directly to ritual work, or a lot of misinformation. Education should be freely used and freely given; there are some topics that have a proper time and place, but that does not mean that someone should be denied completely. Get out there and educate yourselves!

 

What do you think? Does your Lodge or Masonic community have an education group? Have you ever attended? Why or why not? Do you think Masonic education should be for anyone who’s interested, or more regulated?

Other news: Be on the lookout! The Mason’s Lady will be featured on the Scottish Rite Northern Masonic Jurisdiction (SRNMJ) Blog later this month! I will be sure to link to it when it is posted.

Any questions or comments can be asked below, or at TheMasonsLady@gmail.com. Have a lovely month!

A Lapse in Dues

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Welcome to 2018!

I will be honest with you, 2017 was a very busy year for us. We did not spend as much time with Masonry as we probably should have, and this resulted in less post ideas, (and therefore less posting). My goal this year, is 12 posts (once a month-ish). My big goal for this year is 100k views, last year we hit 93k, so this should be do-able. My big, big goal is to start working on the book. I did also switch to night shift at work, so if you get email replies from me at 3am, that’s why. I also recently joined /r/freemasonry’s Discord. I mostly do a lot of lurking, but that is now a way to contact me directly as well.

Like I said, I’ve been away from Freemasonry for the better part of a year. Sometimes, other things in life are more important, and sometimes, we just think that other things in life are more important. It’s okay, it happens.

Some of us pay dues, and never go to Lodge or Chapter after our initiation. That’s okay. Supporting Masonry with your money is still supporting Masonry. Sometimes it feels like we blink and we haven’t been to Lodge in three years even though it’s on our “to-do” list. Life happens.

Let’s say you, or your Mason are at a point where you want to get back into Masonry. Initiation and degree have come and gone, but it’s no longer part of your life. Besides diving back in, what can you do?

Keeping Current Dues

Keeping your dues current is the “easiest” way to keep up in Masonry. If you are able to pay your dues, do so, if you would like to continue to be involved in Masonry at some point again. Every jurisdiction has different rules for what happens with late dues, and suspension for dues not paid. In some jurisdictions, you cannot be suspended if you cannot financially pay your dues, and are otherwise in good standing. Other states do not take finances into account.

In Michigan, for example, it’s almost impossible to be suspended for non-payment of dues. However, in New Mexico, you have to re-petition if you let your dues lapse for more than a year. Kansas leaves it up to the individual Lodges. The bottom line is, if you don’t pay your yearly dues, you will be suspended (or possibly removed, depending on where you live).

Once you are suspended, you cannot visit other Lodges or attend meetings until your dues are current. In addition to this, if a relation attempts to use you as a Masonic relative while you are suspended, they will not be able; OES requires a Masonic relation in good standing.

Please note: Do not let financial burden keep you from paying dues. If you need assistance, contact your Worshipful Master/Worthy Matron.

Changing Lodges

Sometimes we avoid our Lodges and Chapters because it isn’t the right fit for us. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to change. Your Lodge will understand. It happens often in Masonry, and the members would rather that you attend meetings that you enjoy, rather than avoid ones that you’re miserable in.

Some Grand Lodges allow for dual or multiple memberships, allowing you full rights in multiple Lodges. This can sometimes avoid awkward conversations, as well giving the ease of flexibility. This does mean, of course, that you are on the hook for dues for both Lodges. The majority of OES chapters allow for multiple memberships as well. If you can’t, for any reason that’s okay too.

Do know, however, that your petition to change will be read during the minutes. Be prepared for questions about your decision. Do know that you do not need to tell anyone your reasons for wanting to change.

Burn Out

Burn out happens. A lot. I feel like it’s not really something that is discussed in Masonry a lot. T went to Lodge every week for 8 years. His eighth was the year he was Master. After that, he just needed time away. It’s understandable to need time away.

Freemasonry can take a lot out of you if you let it. I live in only a medium sized city, and we could find something Masonic to do every night of the week if we wanted to. Part of healing burn out is taking time off. You may ask, “How much time away do I need?” The only answer I can give you is, “enough”. You will know when you feel that desire to return to Masonry. It could be a month, a year, maybe three. That’s okay (just remember to pay your dues!)

Another part of healing burn out, is learning how to say no.  Maybe you don’t need to have a spaghetti feed on Monday, a kids carnival on Tuesday, and a fundraiser on Wednesday.  Learning what you can and can’t handle is all part of the super fun stuff we call adulting.

Demitting

Demitting could very well (and might!) be a post in its own right. There are two major reasons for demitting.

The first is if you want to change Lodges, but you don’t want to hold dual membership. After you are accepted into your new Lodge, you demit (resign) from your old one. You will be given a certificate of good standing from the secretary, and this is to be given to your new Lodge/Chapter.

The second is if you want to revoke your membership from any or all Masonic bodies. As you can imagine, I do not recommend that this is a decision that you take lightly. Do remember that you are able to simply walk away from Masonry, pay your dues, or not, and have, frankly, minimal consequences. However, if you choose to resign your membership, it may be much harder for you to rejoin the body that you demit from if you choose to return from the future. Some jurisdictions or Lodges may blackball you from rejoining, depending on your reason for demitting.

If your resolution this year is to get back into Freemasonry, I hope this helped. If your resolution this year is to get into Freemasonry, check out this post.

As always, if you have any comments or questions, feel free to contact me here, or themasonslady@gmail.com

It’s Not Masonry, He’s Just an Asshole

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…And we’re back! Now that school is done and my job has started, life is starting to stabilize a bit. I’m hoping to keep us on a monthly schedule for new posts, so be on the lookout!

So, I get emails concerning Freemasonry fairly often, actually more often than I thought I would during my hiatus. About once or twice a month, I get an email with a question that is now fairly familiar to me. Everyone has their own story, of course, but the main idea is the same. Generalizing it a bit, it tends to be something along the lines of, “My husband goes to Lodge, even though he knows I don’t like it. He won’t help at home. I feel like Masonry is more important to him than his family.” While I would not usually say this so directly in an email, I will take the risk of making a blanket statement here. Freemasonry is not to blame, your husband is just an asshole.

Educate Yourself

I know I tout this a lot, but really, I think it is one of the most important bits of advice that anyone can give the SO of a Mason. It’s important for you to know and understand, what Freemasonry teaches, even in just a very general sense. You see, when a man takes his obligation, that is, when he kneels down and puts his hand on the volume of Sacred Law (usually the Bible), he swears that Masonry will not come first. Yes, you read that correctly. He swears that his obligations to his family, his job, and his deity of choice come before his obligation to Masonry. Think of Freemasonry a bit like a high school extracurricular. You’ve got to keep your grades up in your classes, that is, the important stuff, if you want to be involved. If Masonry is coming first, you’ve got problems; you’ll want to read the rest of this article.

I know that a lot of people have hang-ups about the secretive aspect of Masonry. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again here: Freemasonry is not a secret society, it is a society with secrets. And lets be real, their secrets aren’t even anything awesome. They consist of a few handshakes, ways to recognize each other, and some exact wording of some ritual. If you, for whatever reason, want to know these things, Google is your friend. That being said, I do not recommend looking these things up if you are a current candidate. It can ruin the immersion aspect.

Sometimes, especially “back in the day” (aka, 1950’s) Masons were ill or misinformed about what was and what was not a secret. It is not always spelled out in black and white. Because of this, many Masons simply chose to share nothing instead, which fed into all of the ideas about Freemasons that the conspiracy theorists love. Sometimes it can depend on the jurisdiction, but chances are, if it’s written out in plain, longhand English, it isn’t a secret. This can, of course, get more confusing with oral history jurisdictions, but that’s another article entirely.

Again, I do strongly recommend anyone dating a Mason to educate themselves as much as possible. Explore this blog, don’t be afraid to send me an email with specific questions. There is a lot of misinformation out there about Freemasonry. I’ve found that the best resources tend to be either in print, or in person. Brother Hodapp’s Freemasonry for Dummies is an excellent resource. I’ve read the whole thing cover to cover, and honestly can’t recommend it enough. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Freemasonry is also excellent.

Going and meeting people in your Mason’s Lodge is also a very valuable resource. Not only will getting to know these folks possibly make you feel more comfortable, but it will also allow you to gauge how much time other Masons are spending at Lodge. Ask to meet the current Worshipful Master (essentially the President of the Lodge), ask to see the Lodge room. These things are okay for you to ask for, and again, doing so may make you feel more at ease.

Talk to your Spouse

I know I’ve given this advice probably about as often as I should take it myself. Sometimes, this is easier said than done. Life gets in the way sometimes. If you are feeling that your Mason is too involved in Lodge, and/or spending too much time there, make time to sit down and talk about it. Schedule it if you have to, but get it done. Find out what they like about Freemasonry, what they don’t like. What motivates them to attend so much? Is it because they enjoy the Masonic work so much? Their Lodge is just so super awesome? Or are they avoiding the obligations of work, home, kids, etc?

If it’s that they are so overjoyed by Masonry, awesome. What are you, as the SO, going to do with this information? Are you comfortable with this, or do you need them to tone it down a bit? Are you happy to help, get involved, or would you rather not? This is totally your choice. Do not feel pressure to get involved if you aren’t interested. It’s perfectly normal for spouses to have interests that their partners don’t.

That being said, sometimes just knowing what is going on at a Lodge meeting, or meeting the other members of his Lodge may help put your mind at ease. If he isn’t sure what he can tell you about what happens, I recommend reading over this post together, and talking about it. If you do want to get involved, don’t be afraid to jump in feet first. There’s always fundraisers, car washes, raffle tickets, fun nights, etc., etc. Don’t forget, it’s okay to say no sometimes when you need a break.

Alright, so, lets say that your spouse isn’t overjoyed and overexcited by the teachings of Masonry, and is instead using it as a way to avoid other responsibilities. He’s being a bit of an asshole by going to Lodge and getting more involved, despite your requests for him to not, for help with the kids, whatever the case may be. It happens. In this instance, I recommend two things: communicate, and get help.

Communicating and Getting Help

Obviously, direct, face to face communication is best. Speak directly with your SO about Freemasonry, how you feel about it, and the issues you are having. Its it just them spending too much time at Lodge? Too much money? Avoiding responsibilities? You just don’t like it? Let them know. Adulting is hard sometimes, but it is often unavoidable. Compromise is the key. You might not get exactly what you are looking for, but be sure that your partner is willing to listen and find a solution with you. If they are unwilling to budge, it’s time to sit down with a professional who can act as a moderator.

There’s a ton of tips online for communicating with your SO. It’s also something that everyone can be better about, no one is perfect. Some of these include using “I” statements, and finding both of your preferred love languages and communication styles. If you find that its not going well, or that you need help communicating, that’s just fine. The help is available, you just need to ask for it. Many local colleges offer free marital counseling. Sometimes its nice to just talk to a third party. If you are in a situation where your spouse refuses to go, just go by yourself until they join you.

In addition to this, do not be afraid to contact your Lodge if you are having issues with your Mason being too involved. It may seem weird to think about, but in a way, it is your Lodge too. Usually there is a phone number or email address available online under a Lodge’s contact information or on their website. If you aren’t sure which Lodge to contact, do a Google search for “[Your State] Grand Lodge”. This should have a site with all of your area’s Lodges and their contact information.

When you send an email or make a phone call, this will usually go to the Lodge’s secretary. When you contact them, you do not need to say anything more than, “I am ______’s partner. I need to talk to the Worshipful Master about a personal matter.” (I would not worry about confidentiality, Masons are good at keeping secrets, remember?) I would recommend meeting with him in person, if you are able. Hopefully they will be able to whisper some good council, and get your Mason back onto the right path.

As always, if you have any questions about anything mentioned in this article or otherwise related to Freemasonry, do not hesitate to contact me at themasonslady@gmail.com

 

 

FreeMasonry in Cartoons

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Finals week is upon me, so of course, all of my downtime is spend vegging out and watching cartoons, so join me! Please remember that these are all simply based on Freemasonry or other “secret societies”, and are not intended to be accurate. Sometimes writers and/or artists are Masons themselves, other times it is simply what they imagine it to be. Enjoy!

I have no idea what this is or where it comes from, but it certainly is silly, as well as mildly NSFW. If you happen to know the source, please let me know!

flintstones_mother_in_law

The Flintstones start us off with the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo. If you’re interested in watching specific episodes with the order, check out this link for a list.

While not directly Masonic, in this Disney short, Donald Duck learns about geometry. It’s a bit like Disney does the middle chamber lecture. I remember watching this in high school math class!

 

500px-good_neighbors_12

From the “Good Neighbors” episode of Spongebob Squarepants. I believe there is also an oath and song in it, but I cannot share that here.

An interesting cartoon from 1931 called Bimbo’s Initiation. Remember that clubs and lodges of all types were very popular at this time.

watch-out-stan-mayor-dies-and-gideon-returns-in-gravity-falls-s02e14-if-i-run-for-mayor-559622

If you’re looking for a smart cartoon with lots of Masonic symbols, Gravity Falls is for you. There is some question if the creator is a Mason, but it has only been reported that his uncle is.

 

The Simpsons has a lot of Masonic and “Illuminati” references. This is from the Episode Homer the Great.

Have you seen any Masonic images or symbols or even more in another cartoon? Please share!

How to Explain Masonry to Someone Else

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So, just a personal aside before we begin. I know I’ve been gone a bit, I had surgery on my foot, and thinking straight enough to write while on painkillers is exceedingly hard. But! I am shooting for a 2nd and 4th week posting schedule, so hopefully we will get back on track. In addition to this, I’ve been mulling around the idea of putting together a book! It’s very much in the beginning stages at this point, I don’t even have a rough outline beyond what’s in my head at this point. If you have any topics or suggestions you’d like to see in a book on the topic of being an SO of a Mason, feel free to shoot me an email at themasonslady@gmail.com

 

So, I know that this has happened to you. Someone asks you to hang out on the night of a Masonic event. The exchange usually goes something like this:

“Unfortunately, we have something going on.”

“Something fun I hope?”

“Well, it’s a Masonic dinner, they can be kind of fun.”

“Masonic?”

“Yeah, you know like a Freemason?”

“Um, no?”

Queue you trying to explain what Masonry is in a sentence or two, to someone that probably will still have no idea what it is that you’re talking about, or, to be honest, might not even care. So, what should you say?

To be honest, often I still have no idea. When I find myself in this situation, I tend to stumble over myself, and often leave the other person thinking about men chanting in robes, or share way too much about the organization.

Give them a frame of reference

Most people have no idea what a Freemason is, and that’s understandable. Oddly enough, however, almost everyone knows what a Shriner is. I would imagine this is due to their marketing and advertising that Blue Lodge tends to avoid. Even if I say “Shriner”, and I still get a blank look, I usually follow that up with “the guys in the little cars in the parade”, “Shriner circus”, or “Shiner Hospital for Children”, and then they know who I mean. I usually follow it up by saying that every Shriner has to be a Mason (as long as you’re not in Arkansas), but not every Mason has to be a Shriner. This is usually a satisfactory answer to what a Mason is.

Keep it concise

Truth be told, most people are just asking to be polite. The answer that you give them probably does not greatly affect them in any way. The hard part is summing up Masonry in a short, simple yet complete answer. There are so many aspects, and it can mean so very many things to so many different people. Usually, I will go with the standard of, “It’s a philanthropic adult fraternity.” This answer satisfies most people, and yet, every time I say it, I feel like its not quite right. It doesn’t quite encompass Masonry as well as it could. To be honest, I’m not sure what the correct, complete answer is. If you have a better one, please do share!

Share additional information, but only if asked

This is probably one of the things I have the hardest time with. When someone shows interest in Masonry, or in a related organization, I can get a little over excited, and talk to them a bit more about it than they really wanted to know. That being said, there are people out there that do want to learn more about the organization(s), so you should be prepared for that. Brush up on your general knowledge (Freemasons for Dummies!), or at least know where you can send someone to learn more – the Wikipedia article is decent, and your local Grand Lodge’s website is always a great resource. It’s fine to not have the answer to someone’s question regarding Freemasonry, but be sure to find out, or direct them to someone who can answer their question. Since Masons don’t actively recruit, word of mouth is the only way to get new members!

Hopefully this will help next time someone asks, “What is Masonry, anyway?” If you have any answers to this question that you use, please share them!

 

 

The SO Masonic Blues

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Sometimes, I’m really good at feeling sorry for myself and being absolutely pathetic. Take last night for instance. I’ve got a bum foot, so I’ve been on crutches for about a week, this coupled with the fact that I can’t do much of work or school on crutches, has left me with a lot of free time. Unfortunately, in the case of last night, this free time does not include my husband; it sounds kind of lame when I put it this way, but the man is  my best friend. While I did get some homework done, lets be real, all I wanted to do was consume an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching Fuller House.

Sometimes being in a relationship with a Mason can be hard. Sometimes you can’t, or don’t want to come to Lodge dinners, or other meetings just to hang outside the Lodge room. If your Mason is anything like mine, Lodge night often involves hours at the Shrine bar afterwards, which often means that he’s not home until long after I’m asleep. While I didn’t approach last night in the most healthy way, it certainly could have been worse. And I did start making this list, a list I want to share with you, and hope that you will take and add to, and make your own. Please note that I am definitely an introvert, so those who are not will find themselves with completely different lists. Even if you don’t take any of these ideas, at least take the concept, so that you have something to pull out of your back pocket for when you’re feeling down and sorry for yourself on Lodge night (or any other night for that matter).

Things to Do on Lodge Night: (Especially when I’m feeling sorry for myself, in no particular order)

  • Watch movies in genres he hates or only watches for you
  • Make a super awesome dinner for one
  • Bake!
  • Play video games
  • Take yourself out to dinner
  • Order Chinese delivery, eat all of the evidence
  • Do that thing you’ve been saying you’re gonna do for months
  • Read a book
  • Start a new hobby, or revisit one you haven’t had time for
  • Work on the Master Craftsman Program
  • Go for a nice walk (it’s getting to be that time of year)
  • Binge watch an entire season of a show on Netflix
  • Play a solo board game, or call up a friend and play games
  • Call up some friends and go out for coffee or dinner
  • Learn or start a new craft project
  • Clean (boring)
  • Organize (less boring)
  • Go shopping, spend way too much time at the store
  • Work out
  • Work on a puzzle, crossword, sudoku, etc
  • Check out your local library
  • Work on learning a new language (check out Duolingo!)
  • Drive out to the country and stargaze
  • Actually write something by hand: a letter, a journal, a book
  • Organize a girls night out on Lodge night with other SO’s from the Lodge

 

What would you add? What’s on your list?

Freemasonry and Sex

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Alright, let’s start with this disclaimer.

This is an article for those 18 and up only. If you are under 18, and have questions about sex, please visit Scarleteen.

Now that that’s out of the way. There’s a couple of things that are never discussed in Lodge, religion and politics. However, there is another topic here, that is not even mentioned, sex. What does sex have to do with Freemasonry? More than you might think.

What does Masonry say about sex?

Sex itself is really only mentioned once, during the obligation itself. A Master Mason candidate swears that he will respect and uphold the integrity of another Master Mason’s wife, mother, daughter, or sister. Included in this bit, that he will not have “carnal intercourse” with them. So, not specifically sex, but can you think of any other kind of “carnal intercourse”? The idea here isn’t that a Mason can’t date another Mason’s sister, but more that he won’t do it behind his brother’s back, and more pointedly, won’t sleep with his brother’s wife.

The Demolay obligation includes that the candidate will respect womanhood, and a promise to not defame the character of any woman. Not exactly what is included in the Master Mason degree, but the general idea is the same. Interestingly, there is no such promise made in the OES, or Daughters of the Nile obligation, nor is there anything of the like in Job’s Daughters, or Rainbow Girls.

What about LGBT Masons?

Something that has come up in the last few years is whether or not the obligation should be changed, to include those in same sex relationships. Not every (L)GBT Mason’s SO is also a Mason of course, just like not every heterosexual Mason’s SO is in Eastern Star. Many people feel that this should be changed to include husband, son, father, and brother, while others feel that it is implied. If it is to be changed, as we know with Masonry, it will not be any time soon, especially not if you live in Georgia.

Yes, you read that right. If you are a gay or bisexual man, who lives in Georgia, you cannot become a Mason. The Grand Master barred any gay man from joining Freemasonry last year. Yes, you read that right. Of course, they also tried to eject someone for being a “non-white”, and also don’t allow fornicators to become Masons…. Good luck with that Georgia.

What about the T in LGBT? This is kind of a tricky subject, and from what I can tell, is mostly decided on a case by case basis. There are a couple of jurisdictions who ask if you were “born male” on their petition paperwork. If you’re interested in reading more about this topic, check out Being Transgender in the Masonic Community.

What about those of us who like to spice it up a bit?

I’m not going to lie to you, Freemasonry and the Masonic community is sometimes a bit like stepping back in time. It 100% supports the idea of the 1950’s household, complete with slippers and dinner on the table when the husband gets home from work. It’s starting to get away from that, but very slowly, as with all things in Masonry. This can be both a burden and a boon. Sometimes it’s kind of fun to play subservient housewife, who is only interested in cooking and magazines…right up until the time that an older Mason thinks I’m dumb because of whats in between my legs. My point is, it can be fun sometimes, but can get old very, very fast. I will be coming back to this topic when I discuss Masonry and Feminism later this year.

And then there’s the people who take things just a bit too far. Sometimes my research for this blog takes me to the depths of the internet; through some other family’s vacation photos to Washington D.C., to websites from the Geocities era, and somehow, I found myself at a website all about the Red Star.

Before you go Googling it, please know, it is absolutely NSFW. I just want to go on record, that this is absolutely, one-hundred-and-ten-percent, not Masonic ritual. It is someone’s (or a few people’s) fantasy. It is absolutely not real. The entire “ritual” is posted, and reads like a bad BSDM fanfiction. The basic idea, is that after a man becomes a Master Mason, his wife must undergo a ritual, turning herself completely over to him, becoming completely submissive. She then becomes his “red star”. It even comes complete with Bible quotes about being a good and subservient wife, so you know it’s legit; NOT! Again, seriously, this is not a real thing, a quick search will show you that it falls apart pretty quickly. But just in case you needed an idea for Valentine’s Day…

Ummm…

I guess the bottom line here is, Masonry and sex do not really mix, as it shouldn’t. Don’t sleep with other Mason’s SOs (unless you have their permission), don’t be a gay Mason in Georgia, and don’t believe everything you read on the internet, especially when it comes to Masonry.

Grand Lodge is this weekend, marking the third year of The Mason’s Lady! Hope to see some of you there!

How to Keep Freemasonry from Ruining Your Marriage, and Why It’s Not Supposed to Be That Way

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Every week it seems, I receive an email or PM saying more or less the same thing. My husband joined Freemasonry behind my back. I don’t like how much time Masonry takes up. Freemasonry is ruining my marriage.

 There are dozens, if not more, forums stating the same thing. That Freemasonry wants nothing more than to take men away from their wives, their children, and their families.  Let me first assure you, that this is not the case. In fact, Freemasonry teaches that it should not be a priority in your life. Your family should always come first, as should work, school, and anything else that may be important in your life. Freemasonry should supplement and complement  your life, not take over it. Unfortunately, many new members jump into the deep end, and either become overexcited with all of the new opportunities, or feel guilted, or that they “should” do this or that event, and quickly find themselves overwhelmed. If you find yourself in this situation, either as a Mason, or an SO of a Mason, this is what I recommend doing.

  1. Communicate, communicate, communicate. This is the biggest factor, and honestly, the easiest to do. However, it is also the most overlooked. If you feel that your SO is spending too much time at Masonic events, tell them. They may not realize that you are struggling with it at all, and think that everything is fine. Your partner is not a mind reader, no matter how much we may want them to be. I know that I can fall into the trap of being passive aggressive in hopes that my partner will somehow magically be able to guess what is wrong. If you have a problem, or even just a question, about Freemasonry, or anything else for that matter, speak with them about it. In addition to this, those who are members of Masonic organizations need to communicate clearly with their leaders. I know I have been goaded more than once into doing some event that I didn’t really want to because I felt I had to. Don’t be afraid to communicate your wants and needs to them. If you can’t make it to something, they will understand.
  1. Do your research. A lot of the time, the reason we don’t like, or are afraid of something, is because we don’t know about it. A lot of women tell me that they are concerned about the secrets that the Freemasons tell the men to keep from their wives. As I’ve said before, and I will say again: Freemason secrets are nothing more than handshakes, and ways to recognize each other. If you want to know for yourself, Google it. No, seriously. Anything that goes on in Lodge you can find on the Internet. I’ll even give you a leg up; the most commonly used book is called Duncan’s Masonic Ritual and Monitor. It’s even in handy dandy PDF form! A fair warning though- it is mind numbingly boring to read. However, if you are a Mason who has not yet received all of their degrees, or are someone who wants to someday become a Mason, I recommend you do not read it. Not knowing what is coming is half the fun of initiation. In addition to this, know that if you do read it, and ask your SO questions, they may not be able to answer them all. Although all Masonic secrets can be found with a quick search, the men who join still swear an oath to never reveal them.
  1. Get involved. This kind of goes hand in hand with number two. When T first told me about the Shrine, I imagined this super-secret bar that entrance could only be gained with the correct knock and password, that it would be far off the beaten path, maybe even underground. When I first went to the local Shrine, I realized I passed it a million times every week. It was plain, out in the open, open to the public, with large signs and statues advertising what organization lay inside. I think sometimes we let our imaginations carry us away. Lodge night quickly becomes men in dark robes, chanting in an underground chamber of a long forgotten castle. If you’ve never been to your SO’s Lodge, go! There is nothing stopping you from entering the building, meeting the other members, or even entering the Lodge room. Ask the Worshipful Master for a tour, I am certain he will be happy to. If you’ve been frustrated with your SO’s lack of answers, ask someone who may know there. Don’t just go when there are family events, go on Lodge night, go and have dinner with them before their meetings, ask if you can sit in on education lectures. You won’t be able to go to everything, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. Even just going to a Lodge meeting and sitting out with the Tyler, reading a book, can do wonders to put your mind at ease.
  1. Consider therapy. Don’t think of therapy as a bad thing. Just like Masonry, you want to make a good thing better. It may help you learn things about your SO you never knew before. This is why many religions require couples to go through some kind of counseling before they are married.  Often times, just having a third, neutral party can help more than you can imagine. Going to therapy can help you learn how to communicate better, which we all know leads to better relationships. Sometimes we realize issues are bigger than we thought, and sometimes they are in reality such a minute detail we don’t even remember why they seemed so big in the first place. Counseling and therapy can help give you perspective, and can help you grow as a person, and as a couple. I highly recommend it for anyone, not just those who feel they are having issues, Masonic or otherwise.
  1. If all else fails, back away. This, I feel like is also very difficult to do. If Freemasonry is causing enough discourse that your SO feels that it is ruining your relationship, it’s time to step away for a bit. Not from your relationship of course, but from Masonry. I feel like so often we feel obligated to do everything, especially as new members, that we get overwhelmed quickly, sometimes without even realizing it. Masonry will be there when you get back. Being a Mason is kind of like being a Jew, once a Mason, always a Mason (you do have to keep current on dues of course). It’s okay to take a break, Masonry will still be there when you are ready to return. Please, please do step away, especially if you feel that your relationship with your SO, or any other aspect of your life is suffering because of it.

Hopefully this helps at least one person out there. If you have any questions or comments, please do not hesitate to contact me here, or email at themasonslady@gmail.com

 

The Masonic Bible…Qu’ran…Tanakh?

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Every so often, I hear the same remark about Masonry, “Isn’t that some kind of weird religion?” No, of course it’s not. “But don’t they have their own Bible?” Well, yes, kinda.

I’m not exactly sure where people get the idea that Freemasonry is a religion. I think that it tends to be one of the rumors that spread around by people who have no idea what they are talking about, and may, or may not fear what is actually going on in those Lodge rooms.

So, let’s start with that. Freemasonry is not, nor will it ever be, a religion. In fact, it is very uncommon to have every member of a Lodge be of the same religion. The only requirement, for the majority of Lodges out there, is that the candidate believes in a higher power. Usually, that’s it. There’s no question as to who or what they think that higher power is, or how they choose to worship it, or not. Occasionally some Lodges will delve a bit deeper into these kinds of questions, but they tend to be vague and be wide open for interpretation. So, this means that a Christian, a Muslim, and a Buddhist could all be Freemasons, and even all be members of the same Lodge. Do you think you’re going to get people with that large of a variance of a belief to agree on religion? Good luck. In fact, religion, along with politics, is a topic of conversation in Lodge that is widely discouraged.

Right, so, Freemasonry is not a religion. But what about this Masonic Bible I keep hearing so much about? The Masonic Bible does exist, but not like you think. The Masonic Bible tends to be one of those things that conspiracy theorists say that you don’t get to actually know about until you’re a super secret 99th degree level Master Mason. Well, I hope one of those conspiracy theorists is reading this right now, because I am going to share with you never before seen pictures of a Masonic Bible.

 

Gasp! The horror, the horror, the…wait a second, isn’t that just a King James Version of the Bible? Yes, yes it is. Think of a Masonic Bible to be akin to a family Bible, or a study Bible. It has a different cover, some different stuff in the beginning, but after that, its just the same Bible you know and (may) love.

You see, when a Masonic candidate takes his oath, he swears on the Bible (usually, see below for more). In some Lodges, he may swear on the small, personal Bible for all three of his degrees, or in others, he may swear on the Lodge Bible for the first two, and then the small one for the Master Mason degree.

Alright, let’s talk about all that extra stuff. This is T’s Bible, and as you can see, it is a bit worse for wear. On the cover and spine, we see the square and compass, makes sense. In the first couple of pages, there’s usually some blank space and a lot of lines, as well as some sort of presentation page. This area is for inscription from friends and family, as well as noting when the Mason went through each of the degrees. Traditionally, after the third degree is finished, everyone else present signs the Bible, which is then presented to the candidate. The rest of it, as you can see, is the kind of stuff you could find on Wikipedia, though if anyone is interested in reading all of this part, I’d be happy to upload it. After that, it’s the Bible, same beginning, same middle, same end.

OES, as you can see, does more or less the same thing, only to a bit of a less degree. Only the cover is the major change you see, otherwise it’s a Bible that one may receive after confirmation. The different ribbons stuck in it is the way it was presented to me, and marks the passages from which the five heroines that make up the five OES degrees come from.

So, what if you’re not Christian? What if you’re a Jew, or Muslim, or anything else? Well, fear not, for Freemasonry has it covered. You may swear your oath on any Holy Book of your choosing. How I wish I’d known that when I joined! Unfortunately, it’s not something readily advertised, and in many cases, you may have to supply your own. In areas/Lodges where a religion other than Christianity is dominant, they may have a different holy book as “default”, or may even present a different holy book to the new member.

If you are ever able to make your way to the House of the Temple in Washington D.C., which is the headquarters of the Southern Jurisdiction of Scottish Rite; and you went into the Lodge room, this is what you would see on their altar.

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That’s the Holy Bible, the Jewish Tanakh, the Muslum Qu’ran, and the Hindu Bhagavad Gita. And people try to say Freemasonry is a Christian organization!

As you can see, Freemasonry highly values the diversity of its members. Sometimes Lodge members may get this idea a bit muddled, but this picture illustrates it best. Do not be fearful of joining a Masonic body if you are not a Christian (although some of the auxiliary groups you may not be eligible), and do not be fearful of claims of a Masonic Bible, as it is simply, the Bible.

Also, if you’d like a virtual tour of the House of the Temple (which I highly recommend, that place is *gorgeous*!) check out this page.

The Obligation

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The obligation is that which binds you to the secrets and ideals of the order you are joining. They are different for every organization, as well as every degree, but for the most part, they are the same.  I will not go over the exact wording here, but if you feel so inclined, they are not hard to look up online. However if you are joining or thinking of joining a Masonic body, do not look up the obligation beforehand. While I have never done this, I have spoken with many people who have, and they often feel that some of the “magic” of the moment is gone.

Often, many significant others of Masons who are not in Masonic bodies are concerned about what is in the obligation.  I would like to take this time to go over what each obligation contains, just to give you peace of mind. Please remember that this is just a general overview, and that obligations can vary fairly wildly from state to state.

Obligation of an Entered Apprentice

This obligation is super long, however, it really only contains three things. That the candidate swears to:

  Never reveal the secrets except to a confirmed brother.

  • Never reveal the secrets except in a regular Lodge (where they will presumably be revealed to someone else)
  • Never to write the secrets down so that they may be known to non-members.

Pretty simple right?

In the Fellowcraft degree, the candidate swears to:

  • To never reveal the secrets, except those entitled to them (I.e. New members)
  • To answer the signs – signs are a way that members can recognize each other
  • To obey summons – to Lodge, etc
  • To maintain the lessons taught in the first degree

The Master Mason degree is really just more of the same. The candidate swears to:

  • To never reveal the secrets, except to a known Brother or in Lodge
  • To adhere to the principals of the square and compasses
  • To answer signs
  • To obey summons, with the exception of illness and pressing emergencies
  • To maintain and uphold the five points of fellowship as applied to another Brother:
    Hand – friendship and support to him
    Feet – unite in mutual defense and support with him
    Posture of daily supplication – see to his needs, weaknesses and necessities
    Breast – safeguard his secrets
    Except for offences contrary to civil and religious law
    Honour – preserve his honour and repel slanders on his name

There are some mini obligations within the degrees, these are usually referred to as charges. The topics of the charges are:

1. Secrets

2.      Signs
3.      Summons
4.      Principles (including secrecy, behaviour, fidelity and integrity and fellowship)
5.      Charity and benevolence
6.      Harmony and peace
7.      Care and diligence
8.      Work ethic
9.      Education (including the VSL, Masonic knowledge and the Liberal Arts and Sciences)
10.  Civil duties
11.  The Virtues
12.  Equality and Justice
13.  Religion
14.  Sin
15.  Behaviour
16.  Usages and Customs
17.  Laws and Regulations
18.  Offences of Brethren
19.  Honour
20.  Danger
21.  Instruction and assistance for inferiors
22.  Improvement of morals

Really, in all of the Masonic organizations, the obligation contains about the same thing. Usually it’s less intense than the ones listed here.  

So, what about these secrets they are swearing to not reveal? It’s gotta be something super duper secret right? Well, it’s not really. While the rituals themselves are secretive, it’s not anything you can’t find online. The only thing you may have a hard time finding is referred to as the secret work, these are signs (gestures), phrases, and handshakes used for one member to be able to recognize another outside of Lodge. Even these you can find to some extent, I know for sure the secret work of OES is embarrassingly available. (But it is handy for when I forget something). Usually though, recognition goes something like, “hey are you a Mason?” Truth be told, if you don’t know someone outside of your Lodge, chances are you wont have much reason to discuss Masonic secrets with them; people who are non-Masons trying to learn secrets from a Mason are often painfully obvious.

There are, of course, consequences for breaking your obligation. Within the ritual, it still contains the original punishments for breaking the oath. Yes, it is true the punishments outlined are physical in nature, often having something to do with the sign or position for the degree received; for example (and no, this is not in the ritual), cutting off a hand for stealing. While many of these punishments seem harsh, the important thing to remember is that these are an allegory. The Nebraska Monitor states, “ The obligations of Freemasonry contain the reference to certain physical penalties, which are symbolic in nature and are intended only to impart the historical lessens [sic] of fidelity.” It is terribly important to remember that the only punishment that can actually be given to a Freemason for violating his obligation is reprimand, suspension, or expulsion.