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Ladies’ Night

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I’ve gotten a few emails recently inquiring about Ladies’ Nights. Since in many jurisdictions installations will be in the next few months, this is a popular time of year to be having the event. Please know that I am in the States, and so can only attest to what I know. If it is different where you live, feel free to speak up!

What is Ladies’ Night?

A Ladies’ Night is a celebration put on by a Lodge or Lodges. The idea is that it is an evening to honor the Ladies’ in the Mason’s life, not just their SO, but also their mother, daughter, sister, etc; anyone who supports him. Some of the more liberal Lodges have changed the name to “Partner Night” or “Significant Other Night” in order to be more inclusive.

Where did it come from?

The short answer is, no one really knows. That being said, there are records of festivals being put on in the 1700’s where both women and non-Masonic men were invited. They were not called Ladies’ Nights at this point, but the speeches that were given did indicate that at least one purpose of the festival was to thank the ladies for their support. They became what we know now around the 1940’s.

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What goes on there?

Exactly what the Ladies’ Night includes, depends on the Lodge. When T hosted his, it was a semi-casual dinner at the Lodge, with drinks, and also celebrated some patriotic elements. Some Lodges may bundle Ladies’ Night with celebrating Past Masters, living or deceased.

They may include toasts, speeches, drinks, dinner, dancing, and more. There is actually some (unofficial) ritual written for the evening. If you aren’t sure what exactly your Ladies’ Night will entail, do not be afraid to contact the Lodge’s secretary or Worshipful Master for more information. They will be happy to provide you with the details (sans any planned surprises for the ladies).

Ladies’ Nights tend to be a bigger to do outside of the States, especially the UK. Often these events can involve gloves, full gowns, tuxedos, champagne, you get the idea. These can often be grand affairs, and may include gifts for the ladies, black or white tie attire, toasts to the Queen, presentations, and poems and songs presented or sung by the Masons to the women.

In some jurisdictions, a similar ritual is conducted, called Ladies at the Table

What’s on the agenda?

To give you a general idea as to what may go on at a Ladies’ Night, this is an agenda taken from the Ladies Festival website. Please note that this is a very traditional agenda, and is more UK based.

  • Drinks reception
  • Photographs to be taken (if applicable)
  • Presentation of all guests to Worshipful Master and Lady
  • Marshal escorts Worshipful Master and his Lady to their table.
  • Chaplin to say Grace
  • Commence dinner, taking wine between courses
  • Coffee served, all stand to sing Masonic Grace (UK)
  • Remain standing to sing National Anthem sung (first verse)
  • Start the formal toasts:Marshal announces ‘ the Loyal Toast. The Queen’
  • President gives permission to smoke (if applicable)
  • Toasts, speeches & presentations
  • Marshal draws tickets for table prizes and Festival Committee sell raffle tickets
  • Claim attention to Worshipful Master, who will call up Festival Committee and Lady(s), to thank them and make a presentation
  • Marshal announces that the Worshipful Master and Lady are to retire
  • Let dancing begin –Worshipful Master and his Lady lead the dancing
  • Band break – draw raffle
  • Close the evening – form a circle for ‘Auld Lang Syne’
  • Final words from the Worshipful Master

What should I wear?

If you aren’t sure, ask! In some Lodges it is black tie four course meal, in others, it may be a t shirt and jeans family picnic. Usually either way you can get away with a modest cocktail or sun dress.

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What else should I know?

If you are the current Worshipful Master’s Lady, you may be asked to give a speech. Don’t fret! A Google search will give you a number of Ladies’ Night speech ideas. There are even a few poems dedicated to the evening. If you need help organizing your Ladies’ Night, I would recommend

Some Lodges are moving toward having Ladies’ outings, instead of the more traditional “ceremony”. Events I have seen include concerts, paint and sips, and spa days.

If you need help organizing your Ladies’ Night, or simply want to learn more, I would recommend this site.

Ladies at the Table

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Ever have one of those days where everything falls perfectly into place, where nothing deviates from the plan, and everything works out just wonderfully? Saturday was not that day. T and I were set to host Ladies at the Table at the lodge, and numerous things went wrong, including my truck breaking down, the smoker not cooking the brisket not once, but twice, and I think I caught the stove on fire at one point. Luckily, T’s quick thinking resulted in us only being 30 minutes behind schedule, and we were able to have a wonderful dinner and table lodge with our friends and family.

Ladies where?

Ladies at the Table is a very different kind of Masonic event. It is not a degree, a ritual, or ceremony, but it does fall under the jurisdiction of your Grand Lodge, and is usually held at Grand Lodge Communications. The idea is that this is the time for a lodge to show their respect and honor toward a Mason’s lady, widow, mother, daughter, sweetheart, sister…I think you get the picture.  Since, more often than not, the Mason will leave his lady home while he eats at the lodge, this is an opportunity for her to come and feel not only welcomed, but supported and honored in her role as a Mason’s lady. It also gives the ladies of the lodge a chance to not only meet the men that her Mason has been hanging out with, but also the other ladies at the lodge, and perhaps spark her interest in joining the Masonic community.

I will get to how the whole business runs, and it really is quite fun, in a moment. First, I want to go over where the idea came from in the first place. During the 18th century, another type of Masonry was being practiced in France, called French Rite, which was established to parallel Masonry. These “Adoptive Lodges”, were women only, and were called such because a regular Masonic lodge “adopted” them. These lodges had four degrees, Apprentice (or Female Apprentice); Compagnone (or Craftswoman); Maitresse (or Mistress); and Parfaite Maconne (or Perfect Mason.) The fourth degree ended with a Table Lodge, or ceremonial banquet. There is a large possibility that young Englishmen, that were en route to be trained as British military officers attended the final degree, or at least the dinner that followed, and brought it back to regular Masonry .The table lodge is still practiced today in many regular jurisdictions, you may have attended one on Saint John’s Day, or around the winter holidays. Please note- Ladies at the Table is not Adoptive Masonry. It is simply a  borrowed ceremony that is used by a regular Lodge of Masons to show respect and honor to the Ladies of their Lodge.

The “U” shape. Not ours, I did not think that far ahead!

How is this different from a regular Lodge or Chapter meeting?

If you’ve never been to a table lodge, or Ladies at the Table before, you will find that it is quite unlike anything else you have experienced within Masonry before. As I said above, it is not a Masonic ritual, in fact, T and I decided to make ours a very casual, relaxed event. This does not mean, however, that it is not without it’s own set of governing rules. While these vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, as well as Lodge to Lodge, I will give you a general idea:

  • Traditionally there are 5 courses and 7 toasts to the meal. Our Lodge decided to be much more informal, and relaxed, and therefore had 3 courses, and probably 10 toasts. Some will say that this does not make it a true “table lodge”, but I think that a lot of things like this you need to adapt to fit your own needs and desires.
  • The tables are set in a U shape, with the altar, holding the Bible or other holy book, in the center. T had been in charge of choosing the ritual and letting me know what we needed, and after all of the stress of the day, we realized we had missed this part. Life goes on.
  • Wine is the only alcohol served. You may see a lot of rules about how much wine everyone should be poured, or even what alcohol percentage the wine should be. Unless your Grand Lodge has specific rules for this, do what suits your needs.
  • The ladies should not be the ones cooking, or serving this meal. The idea is to show how much you appreciate them by doing what they normally might on any other lodge night.
T demonstrating the meaning of the word

T demonstrating the meaning of the word “Fire.”

How does the whole thing work, though?

The table lodge is opened similarly as regular lodge might, albeit a much abridged version, with only a few speaking parts, all suitable for the public of course. Usually the opening ceremonies include a short history of the table lodge, or of  Ladies at the Table itself, as well as a history of the lodge that it is taking place in.The Chaplin gives a prayer to open. All of the work is conducted by the Worshipful Master, of course, who sits in the middle table of the “U” with his lady. After opening the Ladies at the Table, dinner is served. When everyone has had their fill, the real fun begins.

In addition to their water cups, everyone has a large shot glass at their seat. This is a special type of shot glass that is a bit thicker on the bottom, and with good reason. It is referred to as a “cannon”, and looks like this. After dinner is over, but before the toasts begin, someone, either the Worshipful Master or the Steward, instructs those attending how the toasts will be done. It goes something like this:

WM: “Brother Senior Steward, charge and align the Cannons of the column of the North. Brother Junior Steward, charge and align the Cannons of the column of the South.” The Stewards fill everyone’s cannons with wine.

WM: “Brothers Senior and Junior Steward, are you cannons charged?” They answer affirmatively.

The WM recognizes the person giving the toast, all rise, and the toast is given.

WM: “With me…” Everyone repeats the last line of the toast, for instance, “to the United States of America,” raising their cannons normally.

WM: “Ready.” Everyone  brings their cannons closer to their body.

WM: “Aim.” Cannon is brought to the lips.

WM: “Fire!” The shot of wine is downed.

WM:”Order.” The cannon is brought to just above the table.

WM: “Arms.” Everyone slams their cannon down on the table, hopefully at the same time, resulting in a terrific noise. (Usually it tends to get better with time, and then worse again.)

Traditionally, there are seven toasts made, as I stated above. At a Ladies at the Table, they are as follows:

  • To the first lady of the United States
  • To the wife of the Grand Master
  • To 3 different women of the Lodge
  • To our mothers
  • To our ladies

We chose to do things a bit differently, and added many of our own toasts, including:

  • To our service men and women
  • To the United States of America
  • To our Grand Lodge
  • To the Craft
  • T also added a special poem he had found about the ladies for the final toast. You can see that here.
The cannons being charged.

The cannons being charged.

So, the point is….?

If you are thinking to yourself that there must be something more to this than having a nice dinner, shooting wine, and being with the ladies of the lodge, then you would be pondering what else there is for some time. The whole point is to relax, have a nice time, and be with friends and family.

If any of you are interested in hosting your own Ladies at the Table, let me know! I would love to hear stories of the way that other Lodges decide to put it on. Make it your own, and start your own tradition!