Category Archives: Other Topics : Non-Masonic

Order of Weavers

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I want you to imagine something with me. Close your eyes, and imagine a Lodge; the people within it, its purpose, all of the wonderful things that those people accomplish. Imagine their families, the children growing up within the Lodge, and one day joining on their own. Now imagine, only a slight difference from reality. Instead of all of the members being men, imagine them instead to be women. What would be different? What would be the same? Would the organization crumble, or thrive? How would the men feel about being excluded; would they be offended, or would it not be a big deal? Could what this Lodge accomplish be far different from others?

What if I told you this was not necessarily a daydream? While there are a few women organizations in the United States, they are almost a direct copy of masculine (regular or mainstream) Masonry. Personally, I feel that if I were to join a Lodge, I would not want it to be masculine Masonry with different but similar words, I would want it to be something of its own, something that I can help shape its own legacy. Within the Netherlands (as well as one Lodge in France), this exists within the Order of Weavers.

The Order of Weavers was created shortly after World War II. The women of the country,as many did, enjoyed the newfound freedom of being able to take leadership positions and work outside of the home. They had noticed that Freemasonry had lent great support, both to the members, as well as their families. They were inspired to create something similar, but very much their own. Twelve women began the order in 1947, many of them were the wives of Freemasons. While starting out, they were supported by three Freemasons,though the Order of Weavers is not an official Masonic organization. The rituals were completed by 1950.

In many ways, the Order of Weavers is very similar to masculine Masonry. There are three degrees. The membership requirements are similar, a candidate must be a free-born woman, who believes in a higher power. Dogma, politics, and controversial issues are frowned upon for topics of discussion within the Lodge. They do not permit the opposite sex to join. They both teach similar morals and life lessons, and touch the lives of their members. Also, much like UGLE Freemasonry, the Order of Weavers has a split off organization that came about of disagreement. This is called the Order of Free Weavers, and the majority of their Lodges are based in France, with some in the Netherlands.

The Order of Weavers, is of course, still very different from Masonry. The three degrees are called Spinner, Weaver, and Designer (sometimes also called Creator?). While the formatting of the ritual work is based off of Blue Lodge, that tends to be where the similarities end. The Grand Lodges are instead called Colleges. The Order of Weavers tells their own stories, and teaches their own lessons, ones quite divergent from Freemasonry. The concepts behind the rituals, however, are similar. The end result is still to create a better person. In the end, the biggest difference between the two organizations, is that the Order of Weavers does not have the great pedigree that Freemasonry does.

There are currently 16 Lodges of the Order of Weavers, 15 being in the Netherlands, and 1 in France. This is actually the same number of Lodges of Le Droit Humain. They currently boast 500 members.

So, what’s the big deal about this organization? Sometimes, I day dream about bringing the organization to the United States. It would be quite the undertaking. However, if anyone is interested in gaining approval from the College, flying to the Netherlands, receiving the degrees, going back home, and doing all the work to begin a Lodge, please let me know! I think I am up to two people right now.

Please note, that there is not much information out there about the Order of Weavers, so some of this is pieced together a bit. If you have different information, or are a member of the Order of Weavers, I would love to hear from you.

What do you think about the organization? Would you join, or be interested in learning more? If you’re a Mason, what do you think about the Order? Would you be okay with your SO joining?

Green-Eyed Lady

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I don’t know about you guys, but last week was kind of a crazy one. It went something like this:

Tuesday:DeMolay

Wednesday: Lodge

Thursday: OES

Friday-Sunday: DeMolay Conclave

Monday: T meets with a candidate.

Then the whole cycle repeats again with DeMolay on Tuesday! Since I had to work Wednesday, as well as the weekend, I did not get to see T much, not to mention that relaxing time alone with him was non-existent.  While I do appreciate knowing that he is men of high moral values, sometimes it can feel like Masonry can eat at your social, as well as personal life. This can tend to lead to feelings of jealousy, resentment, and all kinds of other icky stuff.

Why do I feel this way?

Let me start off by saying that any feelings you may have toward Masonry, either overall or just your Mason’s involvement, are perfectly valid. However, you’ve got to own those feelings, and if you don’t like the way that you feel, then you need to figure out what you can do to change the situation. A common reaction for women to have when they first learn about Masonry, is not true jealousy, but envy. Envy simply says, “I want what you have. Gimmie.” This is usually from the feeling of exclusion that many women experience when they realize that they cannot join regular Masonry, I know that I certainly did. Envy does not have to lead to jealousy however, and can in fact lead to very motivating thinking, such as being involved with auxiliary groups as much as possible.

Jealousy, on the other hand, says “I want what you have, and until I get it, you shouldn’t have it either.” This step beyond envy not only attempts to push you forward, but also aims to hold the other person back. Most often, when it comes to jealousy and Masonry, the feeling stems from two sources- fear and insecurity.  Many types of fear can cause us to feel jealous when our Mason is away at Lodge. Usually, however, this jealousy comes from fear of loss, and fear of the unknown. Staring with the latter, fear of the unknown si obvious when it comes to Masonry and it’s auxiliary groups. If you and your Mason just started dating, or if he is a new member, this is incredibly common. Often, new members are not sure what it is that they can tell their spouses, and therefore tend to not say anything at all. If you do not do your research (please do!), your imagination can dream up all sorts of awful things going on at the meetings. It is always important to educate yourself. Ask your Mason what you would like to know about what goes on. If he is unsure, I recommend you talk to senior members of his lodge, or pick up this book.

Fear of loss is also an extremely common root of jealousy for those involved with Masons. You see it all the time on the anti-Masonic wives “forums” (none of which seem to have been updated since 2003). Usually it sounds something like this:

I’ve two boys 21 and 17. Everyone who has responded has hit it right on the money. I thought I was the only one who was feeling this way. My husband sits on the couch and reads this little blue book after work til its time to go to bed. Not to mention he is gone every Saturday all day long for ceremonies out in the woods. Yes he calls all of them brothers now and yes I agree this is a CULT!! All he does now is spends several hours a week with them. Hours that he could be spending with his own family, working on the lawn, keeping up the pool. Nope that is on the back burner as well as me and our youngest son. Everything is so private that I don’t know where he goes or what he is doing. They have secret handshakes and secret codes. I am found home alone most of the time now. I can see that they are more important than me. Divorce is on my mind more than ever. Its a CULT and they have brainwashed him. (Gizzy) 

Ignoring for a moment all of the cult and brainwashed business, it is very clear that this woman is not only jealous of the time her husband spends involved in Masonry, but also feels that she is losing him, and therefore her marriage and everything that goes along with it, to Masonry. Very closely related to the fear of loss, another cause of jealousy is simple insecurity. The insecurity may come from anything, although most often when talking about Masonry and jealousy, the insecurity is insecurity of the relationship, or yourself. This is where the feelings of “Well, what if he meets a younger, more involved woman at Grand Lodge?” “How can I compete with a bunch of guys he is so involved with and have so much in common with?” come from.

Taming that beast

So, how can you get rid of all these nasty feelings? There are lots of suggestions out there, but I will just go over the main ones.

Recognize your jealousy, and keep it in check. Often, just recognizing that the jealousy is there can help alleviate some of the hold it has on you. In addition to this, it is important to be mindful of your own emotions, and a big part of this is knowing yourself. Try taking several deep breaths, and attempt to detach yourself from the intensity of the emotion you are feeling. This can help give you a better idea as to where its coming from, and why. Be sure and spend time alone, dancing, listening to music, going for a walk, or even just meditating, to help process your emotions.

Educate yourself. As I said above, jealousy can often come from fear of the unknown. There can be a lot of unknowns when it comes to Masonry, so it can help a great deal to turn as many of those unknowns into knowns as possible. As I linked above, I strongly recommend FreeMasonry for Dummies, as a very nice introduction, that provides resources for more in-depth information if you feel you are still lacking. Ask your Mason questions. If he doesn’t know, ask the senior members of his Lodge. If his Lodge has a library, ask if you can borrow books (they won’t be hiding any secrets there though!) You may be surprised as to how much of Masonry isn’t a secret.

Communicate with your Mason. Perhaps one of the most important, and simplest answers. If you do not tell your Mason that you are jealous that he is spending three nights a week at Lodge, he may think that everything is fine and dandy. You’re not a mind reader, and neither is he. If you feel that he is spending too much time at Lodge, and not enough at home, let him know, and try to work out a compromise. You two may decide that two nights a week is a maximum, or, perhaps that Masonry is just not good for your relationship at this time in your lives. If you don’t speak up, nothing will change, and you will find yourself just getting more and more frustrated.

Get involved. While I know that this is not the answer for everyone, many women find attending Lodge dinners and other Masonic functions quite enjoyable. You may find solace with the Sisters in the Order of the Eastern Star, or just with the ladies who play cards during the business meetings. Attending Masonic events will not only help you expand your social circle, but you may find that once you realize just how boring waiting for a three-hour Master Mason degree to be done can be, that you are more okay with your Mason attending more Masonic functions. Getting involved goes hand in hand with educating yourself, and helps eradicate the fear of the unknown.

Perhaps the most important thing to say about it all is simply: Own your feelings. Don’t let them own you.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful week, and as always, feel free to contact me with any questions!

To your front door

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Attention gentlemen! Mother’s day is next Sunday! Consider this your 1 week warning. 🙂 If you’re looking for something a bit different to get your lady (or even mom) for mother’s day, I would recommend checking out this post. There are also a few things here for the guys.

Ladies! I know what it can be like to be a Mason’s wife- you can easily have a formal dinner, a family outing, and a scotch tasting all in the same week. Not only does this add up as far as time and money, but in addition to this, we do not get the same luxury as the guys as far as being able to wear a suit, or a dress shirt and tie wherever we go. Instead we end up with a large variety  of clothes, and makeup, usually in incredulous amounts, not to mention the cost really does add up faster than you might think.

Enter beauty boxes, also known as subscription services. The idea is basically the same across the board- you pay a subscription fee, from as little as $10, all the way up to $160 a month, and the company sends you goodies each month directly to your house, that you get to keep, or in some cases, the service works a bit more like Netflix for clothes. There’s a ton of services out there, but I am going to cover the top contenders in each category.

True Beauty Boxes

Birchbox

Arguably the first “beauty box” that really gained popularity, Birchbox offers a very no-nonsense package. $10 a month, for 4-6 beauty and “lifestyle”  deluxe (read:larger) samples, delivered to your home each month. The beauty samples can range from makeup to skin care items, while the lifestyle items can be a Kind bar or tea. One of the nicer things about Birchbox is that they offer both a women’s box subscription, as well as a men’s. The men’s box contains items like manly shampoo, shaving cream, playing cards, cufflinks and lotion. The “lifestyle” items tend to be much more formal than the women’s boxes. Every box has a theme.Right now there is about a two week wait for a subscription, but in my experience, it tends to be a much shorter wait than that. Average value: $30-$50

Ipsy

Perhaps Birchbox’s biggest contender is Ipsy. Ipsy’s box plan is the same as Birchbox’s- you pay $10 a month, for 4-6 items, the first difference here is that Ipsy offers deluxe samples, as well as full size items. The second is Ipsy’s focus, which is much more on makeup, with some skin and hair care items. Ipsy’s bags are also themed like Birchbox, but every month, all of the makeup comes packaged in a themed cosmetic bag. There is also a waiting list for Ipsy, it does not say how long the wait is, but you can jump through some Facebook hoops or get a referral link (let me know if you want one!) to skip ahead to the front of the line. Average value: around $50

Clothing and Accessories

Wantable Accessories

This one is a little pricier, but with good reason- as the name suggests, this is a subscription box for jewelry and other accessories. The price tag is a big step from the likes of Ipsy and Birchbox at $36 a month, but if you are like myself, and have a seemingly endless calendar of Masonic dinners and social gatherings, this could easily be worth every penny. The box contents range from rings and bracelets, to sunglasses and watches. The company Wantable has two other subscription services, one for makeup, and one for intimates. Average value: $100+

Stitch Fix & Gweenie Bee

These two subscription services work a little differently, and both involve clothes. Stitch Fix is $20 a month, and 4-5 pieces of clothing and/or accessories are handpicked for you by a stylist.You keep what you like, and send back the rest. The $20 a month you spend is taken off of the final prices of the items you choose.

Gweenie Bee, targeted at women sizes 10+, works more like Netflix. You pay a flat fee to have a certain number of items out at a time, starting at 1 piece of clothing for $35 a month. When you’re done wearing it, or decide you don’t like it, you send it back, free shipping, just like Netflix. The difference between Gwennie Bee and Netflix is that you can buy the items you like while you have them at home!

The Weird

Plated

Kind of changing gears, Plated aims to ship….dinner to your door. The only catch is that you have to cook. The monthly fee is $10 again, but every “plate” added to the meal is an additional $12. So, a plated meal for 2 would cost $34. You can also not choose to subscribe and just buy meals, which bumps the plate cost up to $15, and you must buy four. Everything comes pre-portioned with everything you need, and gives you detailed step by step instructions on how to prepare the meal. Would be absolutely wonderful for a date night in! Average value: Varies on meat cost, usually $50-$75

Nerd Block

I’m pretty sure I need this (hint! hint!). Nerd Block is a monthly subscription box for toys, collectibles, t-shirts and other geeky things. They also send you a custom t-shirt every month that you cannot get anywhere else. They also have Nerd Block Jr, aimed at young nerdlings. The cost is a bit more here, $20 + shipping, but they are a much smaller company than all of the others. Average value: $50-$75

You can quickly see how convenient for someone who is active in the Masonic community- getting new items- makeup, jewelry, shoes, clothes, even food and toys, every month, usually at a fraction of the cost. This means you could always have something new to wear (if you’re like me, every bigger event I want to have at least one small “new” item), at every event that you attend. Sounds pretty awesome to me.

For the record- none of these companies are paying me in any way shape, or form to write this article. I just think that these subscription services really have a place in a Mason’s lady’s (or Mason’s) life, are very convenient, and seamlessly integrated. I can’t wait to try them all.