Author Archives: The Mason's Lady

Can’t join ’em? Support ’em!

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The other night, we had some friends over to play D&D, and have some drinks. A couple of them have expressed interest in becoming Masons in the past, but have never really chosen to follow through.  They have a lot of questions, as many folks that consider joining do. One of them asked me a question that I hadn’t ever really thought of before, no one had ever asked me it so directly. I was actually at a loss for words for a moment, and had to collect my thoughts. I’ve had some time to think on it now, and I’ve think I’ve come up with some pretty good answers to the question: “Why are you so involved with Masons even though you can’t become one?”

I appreciate and support the values and lessons taught, and see the results.

As most all of us know, Freemasonry is all about making good men better. And from what I have seen, they do exactly that. T has been Worshipful Master this year (so close to being done!), and I have seen improvement just over the last year. He has always been a good communicator, but as the year has progressed, I feel that he is better at anticipating both what he needs, and what he needs from me, and is not afraid or unwilling to let me know.  He has always done pretty well with follow through (although he does subscribe to the better late than never theory), but is now more willing to take on more responsibilities, within Masonry, at work, and at home. We are still working on the time management bit though! My roommate Tom joined T’s Lodge this year, and has taken to Masonry like a duck to water. He too, has shown vast improvement in his attitudes at home and work.

The three core values of Freemasonry are Relief, Truth, and Brotherly love. This is really the backbone of Masonry. Relief:Masons are taught to give help to those in distress, and to give to charity. You can read more about relief and how it pertains to Freemasonry here. Truth: Masons are taught to not only be truthful when dealing with others, but also to be truthful to themselves.  Masonry requires this of all its members to hold this moral as highly as possible in both their public and private lives. Brotherly Love:This does not only mean Brothers, but everyone. Masonry teaches that everyone deserves tolerance and respect for their opinions. They are also taught to act with compassion and understanding, especially when dealing with a fellow brother. Let’s think about these morals for a moment. Re-read them, and really think about what they mean. Aren’t these the values that everyone tries to uphold? Isn’t this what we mean when we say someone is a “good person”?  Why would you not want to support an organization, that not only upholds, but also teaches and emphasizes the importance of these values?

It helps make the world a better place.

Millions of dollars are given to charities through Masonry every year. Seriously, millions. Each Grand Lodge has a charity or two that they fund. The Shrine has the Shriner’s Hospitals for Children, and Scottish Rite has Rite Care, often, each Grand Worshipful Master (or equivalent) will pick a “project” charity or two that they want to help raise funds for. All of the women’s auxillaires donate money to charities, often different ones than the men, to help spread the giving around. This year, for my state, it was the Alzheimer’s association. The youth, as well have their own charities, although these are usually constant, like HIKE for Job’s Daughters. More than this, many states have their own children’s home and retirement homes that are run largely by donation. Our Scottish Rite runs a large ranch style facility for at risk youth. The running joke at Grand Lodge and other large conferences is that you never want to enter with cash in your pocket, because you won’t be leaving with it.

Anyone can give money though. It doesn’t take much time or effort. Masons, it seems, are never satisfied unless they go above and beyond. In addition to the money that they give, Freemasons and their affiliated groups also organize and run fundraisers for charities, put on other events for charity; the women at Grand Lodge hold a toy drive, the circus is a fundraiser for the hospitals; and also participate, and encourage others to participate in outside events put on by charities and other fundraisers, regardless if it is a Masonic charity or not. In addition to this, many groups also make hospital visits, see their ill members in their homes, provide scholarships and generally try to spread goodwill and that good old brotherly love around.

The opportunities it provides T, me, and my future family.

The list here is almost endless. The new people to meet, the places to go, the secrets to learn, the time to give, the knowledge to give and receive, the personal and public growth. The opportunities that Masonry provides T and I, and will provide for our future children is enormous. While it is usually frowned upon to mention that you are a member of a Lodge on a job resume, you can say that you are a member of a philanthropic organization. Many people would not know what DeMolay is, but many of my coworkers know that I volunteer and help run a group for young men. These opportunities should never be a sole reason for becoming a Mason, but I won’t lie to you, it is not without its benefits. We have met many people with Masonry that we would not have known otherwise, many of whom are willing to help us out in our public lives.

It gives me alone time.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. This has been the biggest piece of advice that my mom has given to me concerning my relationship with T ; while my father is not a Mason, he does have a career that keeps him away from home. Mom is right. Not spending every minute of not work time with your SO causes you to cherish the time that you do get to spend together more. This is especially true when your schedule looks anything like ours- something going on almost every night of the week.

In addition to this, it gives me the alone time that I need, something that isn’t emphasized perhaps as much as it should be in this day and age. I am an introvert by nature, and need time away from other people to help recharge my batteries. I know not everyone is this way however. So, I also take the time that T is away at Lodge to do things for myself, a long bath, a nice dinner, watch that movie on Netflix I know he would never like. While T’s Lodge time is his time with the boys, it’s my me time.

It’s fun as hell.

As I’ve said before, even in this article, the Masonic calendar in our area is very busy, with something almost every night of the week. This also helps provide a “something for everyone” sort of atmosphere, which I am certain is one of the goals for Masonry. There are clubs and events for every taste, from a white tie ball, to having drinks in the bar with friends. Not only does Masonry provide us with opportunities to better ourselves, but it also provides a great time with wonderful people. Freemasonry is a ton of fun.

Just because I can’t be one, doesn’t mean I can’t be part of the Masonic family.

Can I be a Mason? No. Can I become a Daughter of the Nile, a member of OES, Order of the Amaranth, White Shrine of Jerusalem, Beauceant, youth advisor and more? Hell yes. Just because you aren’t one of the guys doesn’t stop you from being able to join the Masonic family. Even if you choose not to join formally, you can still be a part of it by supporting your Mason in any way you feel comfortable. Go to events, meet new people, have a good time. It can be very daunting and intimidating at first, but I guarantee you they are some of the most genuinely nice people out there who only want to see your family succeed.

Support your Mason. Without your support, your rough ashlar will never become perfect.

Let’s Eat!

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With Thanksgiving fast approaching, as well as all of the other wonderful celebratory meals that tend to come with this time of year, I thought it best to go over some basic dining etiquette.  Like many things, this does not seem to be related to Masonry on the surface, but the more you think about it, the more you realize you need these skills to survive in Freemasonry. From Lodge dinners to Grand Lodge Banquets, everyone needs to have a general idea of the basics. No one is asking you to be Emily Post, but it is important that you do try.

Let’s be honest. Masonry, in many ways, tends to be stuck in the early to mid 1900’s. As I’ve said before, this does not need to be a bad thing. It does mean, however, that often we find ourselves doing things that most everyday people do not do- wearing tuxes and attending formal dinners, for instance. This can be confusing, and overwhelming at first, especially for those of us who have never experienced something like this before. If you need help with your tux, check this out. If you are not so sure which fork is for your salad, keep reading.

Reading the Table

 Most meals at most Masonic functions will be informal. Don’t let the name fool you though, this doesn’t mean jeans an a t-shirt. Informal is the style of dining, usually for a 3-4 course meal. A meal of this style usually includes soup or hors d’oeuvres, salad, entrée, and dessert. The tablewear setup usually looks something like this:

It isn’t really too different from home except for the extra silverware. You want to go outside in with your silverware, so the most outside fork is used for the first course, the inner for the next, etc. Usually at most Masonic meals, they do not serve alcohol with the meal, but instead at the cocktail hour before. You may bring your drink in with you if you are not quite done. The wine glass is typically used instead for iced tea.

A little bit more complex, this is the formal table setting:

Again, you want to work outside in, and after your entree, you move to the utensils above your plate. You may see a table setting similar to this at say, the formal meal at your Grand Lodge.

You may also see some combination of the two settings. As someone involved with Masonry, there will come a time where you find yourself at a formal meal. It is important to take the time now to familiarize yourself with the settings now, so that panic does not set in when you get there. I’m not saying memorize the entire thing, but it would be a good idea to have a general idea of what is where.

Basic Table Manners

Remember what mom used to tell you at the dinner table as far as manners are concerned? The same applies here. Hate to get a little old school on you, but really, proper manners at dinner can get you far- who knows when you will be sitting with the Grand Master of your state, or the national secretary for Scottish Rite? You want to be able to impress, or at least, not disgust the person across the table from you. Much like the Kindergarten Creed, you already know most of this stuff.

  • Chew with your mouth closed. From Emily Post to Pintrest, this is absolutely top of everyone’s list. Please follow through. No one wants to see that.
  • Bring your food to your face, and not the other way around. Even if you did grow up with seven brothers, a nice dinner is not the time to be leaning over your plate, shoveling food into your face.
  • Silence and put away your cell phone. I’m guilty of it too. Not browsing the internet while eating can be boring, but the idea of a formal dinner is for you to meet and converse with those around you, so remove all distractions.
  • Say ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ often. Even if you don’t think you need to. Mom wasn’t kidding when she said these words were magic.
  • Remember your napkin. Seriously, I am always suprised at the number of grown men that forget this magical bit of fabric exists. It keeps your clothes from getting dirty, as well as your face.

If you are a young or new Mason, these are very simple ideals to follow. You would be amazed at how easily proper table manners can help garner respect and foundation, one of the often untalked about pillars of a sucessful Mason.

Want to learn more?

There’s a ton of dining guidelines, from how to signal that you’re finished, to when to take a drink of water. Even George Washington had a list of general etiquette. Youtube is a wonderful resource for much of this. However, nothing is as good as the queen of etiquette herself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSaMtjRmpqM

I’m Masonic Youth, and You Can Too!

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Life is hectic. Between work, Lodge, Masonic dinners, and other activities, T and I are forced to schedule time together- and we don’t even have kids yet! A major component of our activities revolves around supporting the Masonic youth organization DeMolay; as I have said before, T and I are both adult advisors. We had our first advisory panel meeting since I joined recently, and even though I was exhausted from work, I came to realize just how much goes into running these groups, and more than that, how often they can be overlooked by the rest of the Masonic family.

What is Masonic Youth?

I go into greater detail on each organization here, but this is the quick recap. There are three Masonic youth organizations, DeMolay for boys, Job’s Daughters for girls with Masonic relations, and Rainbow for Girls, who accepts members with and without a Masonic relationship. The ages for each group varies, but they all age out at 21; old enough to be a member of a Lodge or Chapter for 3 years, which allows them to theoretically transition from one group to the next.

The groups do a lot of different things together, but most activities fall into one of a few categories: regular business meetings, initiation/ritual practice, fun nights, service activities, and fundraising. Each group is set up so that the youth are the ones in charge; they run the meetings, vote on activities, give the obligation to new members, etc. In addition to this, each group has one or two state wide conferences each year, which usually includes ritual competition as well as group activities between Chapters. Some states may have mixed conferences every so often, such as MYLC.

In short, Masonic Youth groups provide excellent opportunities for kids that might not receive them otherwise. The minimal cost (I pay $20 a year for my dues), intermingling of groups (i.e. DeMolay sweetheart, dances), lack of religious affiliation, and Masonic connection and values makes them more appealing for many families over other youth groups, such as the Boy Scouts of America.

What are some issues these groups are facing?

Like all of the Masonic organizations, the biggest issue the youth groups are facing is membership numbers. Following in the footsteps of Blue Lodge, none of the organizations openly advertise, and instead rely solely on word of mouth. As many members of Masonic organizations know, membership numbers have been dwindling in the last decade. It can be very hard to interest people, especially teenagers, to come out and do extra “work” (you would be amazed at the difference of guys that come to fun nights vs nights we volunteer to wash dishes), in addition to school, and for some, jobs. The membership issue, in turn, leads to a lack of public interest and knowledge, and the cycle is fueled again.

While I cannot speak for all chapters of these organizations, I can tell you a bit about what is going on in my own. One cannot say that there is a lack of leadership within our Chapter, in fact, we have a few guys that make excellent and natural leaders, that help the Chapter flow the way that it should. These guys volunteer first, are always there on service days, and encourage others to do the same. The issue is it tends to be the same handful of guys that are in this position. Ideally, everyone should be taking turns filling the leadership roles. This I feel, however, is more due to the nature of the beast that is teenagers. Often, youth feel insecure in themselves, are wary about what their peers think of them, and therefore would rather follow than lead.

Another issue that most, if not all, of the Masonic youth organizations face, is that of money. Each Chapter, Bethel or Assembly must be sponsored by an adult Masonic body. Our DeMolay Chapter is sponsored by our local Shrine, for instance. Usually this simply means that the Lodge, Shrine, or Chapter allows the youth to use their facilities for their meetings. We are lucky enough at our Chapter that our sponsor also allows us to be active in supporting events that they put on, mostly through service. Sponsorship does not, however, usually entail much funding, if any. The majority of the funds required by a Masonic youth organization, come from the public, either fund-raising done by the youth, or from the adult advisors.

What are they doing to remedy these issues?

As I said above, Masonic youth organizations are not really advertised the way that other youth groups are. Often, the only way someone even knows they exist is if their child is a member. At one time, DeMolay used to be a household name (I suppose the same could be said for Masonry), but all you will get is funny looks if you ask around. To my knowledge, no real changes have been made on this front (at least for DeMolay). Unlike Freemasonry, Masonic Youth organizations do have an International Council. Statewide, the youth are encouraged to bring in new members, but that is more or less where that ends. Although all of the groups have moved onto social media, this tends to serve more for communication between members more than anything else. Personally, I am not so sure what I would do to bring in more members, but I do know that something needs to be done if these organizations want to continue in the States. Oddly enough, Brazil and Australia have a booming Masonic youth population. Let’s hope that the US takes a page from our Masonic families overseas.

How a group handles the issue of youth leadership really depends on the needs of the specific Chapter, Bethel, or Assembly. Masonic youth groups encourage youth leadership because they are all lead by the youth, instead of by an adult leader, like Boy/Girl Scouts of America. Just like Blue Lodge and other branches of Masonry, these offices exist on a state level, and unlike Masonry, exist on an international level as well. As far as encouraging the youth to take up these positions is concerned, our Chapter is trying a few different methods. We’ve gotten a bit lax over the years with dress, and we want to encourage our members to dress in business casual, instead of shorts and a t-shirt. Many of them will be joining Blue Lodge soon, and this helps ease that transition, and also helps create feeling of specialness when the Chapter is open.

As far as the issue of money is concerned, there always seems to be only one answer: fund-raising. Our Chapter sells baked goods, and I am sure that Job’s and Rainbow does something similar. Of course, all of the members do pay dues, however the dues cost is low enough that it does not put a lot into our coffers. We rely a good deal on donations from the public, both Masons and not. Many of our activities are paid by the guys themselves, for instance if we go out for ice cream, our comes out of the advisors pockets, like gas money when we go to state events.

What can I do to help?

As always, the number one answer is get involved. I cannot tell you what an awesome time I have had in just the few months that I have been an advisor. If you have the time, and meet the requirements I highly recommend it. You can find your local group through Google, or click the name of the organization, which will take you to the main page. By the way, here are the requirements to become a Masonic youth advisor:

DeMolay
*Any adult 21 and older
*No Masonic affiliation is required

Job’s Daughters
*At least 20 years of age and:
Master Mason
Majority Job’s Daughter
Person of Masonic heritage
Parent, grandparent, stepparent, or guardian of an active or majority member of the bethel

Rainbow for Girls
*At least 24 years old and :
Master Mason
Majority Rainbow Girl
Member of Eastern Star, White Shrine, or Amaranth
Parent, grandparent, or guardian of an active or majority Rainbow Girl

If circumstances do not allow you to become an advisor, there are many other ways to get involved. Encourage your children to become members. If you do not have kids of your own, recommend the organization to friends who are looking for activities for theirs. Suggest to your WM that your Lodge support a Masonic youth group that may be looking for a new home. Contact the head of the group in your area, and see if you can sit in on a meeting, to see what it is all about. Attend public events put on by the groups, and encourage others to do the same. Welcome and greet a Masonic youth just as you would any other Mason or affiliated member, encourage them to also attend your events. This will also help your Lodge or Chapter’s membership when the time comes. If nothing else, donate. Time, money, your backyard pool; it may not seem like much to you, but it can make a world of difference to them.

The Masonic Wife

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This week, I wanted to discuss something that both comes up fairly often on this blog, and is relevant in my own life right now: Masonry, marriage, and divorce. Most often, when folks search out information about this topic, they come across one of two websites; the Phoenix Masonry Masonic ritual, and the ever popular “Masonry- A Marriage Wrecking Ball” website. Unfortunately, neither of these websites are affiliated with regular masculine Masonry, and so everything on them must be taken with a grain of salt. Many of the questions couples have about the topic are scattered across the internet, I would like to bring them all together.
Who is a Masonic wife? How is it different from a Mason’s Lady?
As I have said before, Freemasonry was created officially in 1717, with the formation of UGLE. Although the world has changed since then, Masonry has not always changed with it. Most women during it’s inception were married before they were 21, obviously this is no longer the case. However, within Masonry, most invitations and benefits continue to be extended to a Mason’s wife, not his long time live in girlfriend. For instance, unless you are legally married, a woman who has no other Masonic relationships cannot join the Order of the Eastern Star. If you think that’s kind of dated, welcome to Masonry.
A Masonic wife, and a Mason’s Lady are often used interchangeably. However, I do not feel that this is truly the case. A Masonic wife is simply the wife of a Mason. That’s it. Being married to a Mason does not obligate her to anything, Lodge dinners, appendant bodies, in fact, she may not even like the fact that he is a Mason (more on that later). A Mason’s Lady, however, I feel is quite different. A Mason’s Lady can be any woman who supports a Mason, and Freemasonry. This can be his wife, his girlfriend, his mom, grandmother, neighbor, etc. A Mason’s Lady may chose to show her support by joining appendant bodies, attending Lodge dinners and other events, or any other way she can think of. You can be a Mason’s Lady without being a Masonic wife, and vice versa.

What are the benefits of being a Masonic wife?

Becoming a Mason’s wife opens you up to a world of possibilities. Being married to a Master Mason grants you the ability to join any of the Masonic bodies that allow women: Order of the Eastern Star, Daughters of the Nile, Order of the Amaranth, and more. Usually this is the only requirement for the groups that allow women. For example, your husband does not need to be a Shiner in order for you to join Daughters of the Nile, although you may get more out of it. You can learn more about these organizations here.

if you choose to support your Mason by being active in Lodge activities, you will never find a lack of something to do. We live in a moderately sized Midwestern city, and there is a Masonic function going on almost every night of the week. There also many travel opportunities, especially within the Shrine. I know that our potentate is organizing an Alaskan cruise this year, and the Grand Master is hosting a Florida getaway.

One of my favorite parts of my SO being a Mason, is that I have an excuse to get all dressed up and mingle, fairly often. If you and your Mason plan on being fairly active socially, I would recommend investing in some nice dress clothes. One or two suits and a tux should be just fine for him. I know we ladies do not get off that easily; but, if you enjoy shopping, think of it as a bonus. If you enjoy being social and meeting new people. Masonic functions are perfect for just that. If you are more introverted (like myself), Masonic functions can serve as a test ground for the “real world”. I’ve become more relaxed with meeting new people and improving new social skills since being more involved with Masonry.

What are the disadvantages to being a Masonic wife?

I will be the first to admit, it is not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. T is Master of his Lodge this year, and this is added stress for both of us, making sure there is a candidate, food, organizing meetings, it can be a lot of work. In addition to this, sometimes the jealousy monster rears its ugly head. It can be hard to give up your SO for 2+ (at our house, more like 6 with bar time) hours to people you may not know on a weeknight. I’ve found that the best cure is for Lodge night to become the nights that I pamper myself. As I’ve said before, I usually treat myself to a nicer dinner and watch a horror movie (which T hates). I do my best to make it my “me” time.

If you choose to get involved with Masonry, you may have to limit yourself and your Mason how involved you really are. Remember when I said there are activities every night? That can have it’s downsides. We usually go to 3 activities a week (DeMolay, Lodge + one other), and even that feels like it can be a lot. As a Masonic wife you need to be able to say no, even if that game feed put on by the Dave Crockett Club does sound super awesome.

What about this marriage ritual? Are there Masonic wedding rings?

You may have seen pictures of a Masonic wedding floating around on the internet. Actually, you can find the entire ritual here. While it is a very interesting read, this wedding (if I recall correctly) was preformed in Puerto Rico. This ritual is only sanctioned by the Grand Lodge of Turkey, so unless you have a Turkish Lodge in your area, you are probably out of luck if  you wanted to use this ritual for your wedding. From what I have found, no other couple have been married in this fashion.

One question that many Masons ask is if there is such thing as a Masonic wedding ring. There isn’t really. You may, however, use any Masonic ring that you hold the degree for as a wedding ring. This practice is not common, and is really not recommended. The reasoning is that if you were to become divorced, you may still associate Masonry with those feelings toward your ex, which may lead you to be less active or leave the craft.

To be a bit PG-13 for a moment, if I may, there are a number of websites out there that discuss becoming a Mason’s
“red star” and are all about becoming submissive to your Mason. This is all based in fantasy of course, and have no relation to actual Freemasonry.

How does divorce factor into all of this?

One of the things that the sensationalists want you to believe is that Masonry will ruin your marriage and steal your man. And probably your goats. Or something like that. It simply isn’t true. I have found that some women really struggle with their SO being a Mason. The best advice I can give to people in this situation is communicate with your partner, and get involved. You may feel that he is spending too much time at Masonic events and you would like him to be home more. Tell him that, or he won’t know. Often, the biggest fear is the fear of the unknown, if you get involved with Masonry, you may find that it squelches that fear.

If, for some reason, you and your Mason become divorced, this has no bearing on your memberships in organizations that you are currently a part of. However, you do lose your eligibility to join a new organization unless you have a different Masonic tie (father, uncle, etc). You may find strength within the organizations if this happens. This is one of the benefits of hanging out with women much older than yourself – many of them have been there.

Masonic Halloween

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Just a reminder that Halloween is this Friday. If this is news to you, you may want to start thinking of a costume. Why not a famous Freemason? Here’s some examples to get those creative juices flowing.

There’s Frontiersman David Crockett

Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy’s

Master Escape Artist Harry Houdini

Shaquille O’Neal, former NBA star

Of course, we can’t forget the ladies! Always popular are Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross

And Laura Ingalls Wilder, author of Little House on the Prairie, both of whom are members of OES.

Of course, if you really run out of time, there’s always…

…the conspiracy theorist.

If you do end up dressing like a famous Freemason, let me know! I would love to showcase your costume here. As always, have a wonderful week, and a safe and fun Halloween!

Masonic Costumes

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Halloween is coming up, so I figured now would be the perfect time to discuss some Masonic costumes. Not for Halloween mind you, we will save that for next week, but the traditional garb worn by Masons and other affiliated organizations worn at meetings or for other purposes. Please keep in mind that many of these outfits are only worn for special occasions, or not at all, these are simply the traditional outfits.

You may see other garb worn at Lodge, Scottish or York Rite, but these are usually only used for degree work, and then, usually only during special times (competitions, full form degrees, and the like). Also know that many Lodges or chapters may not have access to the extensive costumes that others do. I know that many of the costumes kept at our Scottish Rite have been around since the 1960’s or even earlier, most are hand sewn, and since they tend to not be used very often, they are for the most part in very good shape. If you ever get a chance to see a Masonic costume room, I highly recommend it. There is a large variety of costumes, and the amount of time and work that went into making them is astounding.

Blue Lodge

This is the costume or outfit that you are most likely to see, although usually a more simplistic version. During Lodge, a Mason will wear an apron that is either plain white, or has the symbol of his office on it (if he is an officer) unless he is taking his Entered Apprentice degree, in which case he will wear no apron at all, until he is presented with his lambskin apron. The apron is a symbol of the purity of life. In addition to this, officers will also wear the jewel of their office, simply the symbol of their office on a cord. You can read more about the symbols of the offices here. The picture above is that of a member of the Grand Lodge, someone who holds a state office. The only difference between a Grand Lodge officer and a Lodge officer’s garb is the degree of ornateness. The Grand Lodge aprons and jewels are often very showy. In Canada, the aprons may be red and gold instead of blue and gold.

The Shrine

As T just eloquently put it, “The fez is the apron of the Shrine.” You will not ever see anyone wear both an apron and a fez, and in fact, in cases where both would be appropriate, the apron supersedes the fez. As I have discussed before, the Shrine was inspired by a play set in the Middle East, and incorporated many components of that into its ritual and other work. The fez takes its name from the holy city Fez, Morocco. Like Blue Lodge Masons, Shiners also wear a jewel of office. These may be on a cord, as in Blue Lodge, or on a pin, as shown here. Often, an officer will also receive a fez that has the title of his office, in addition to his plain fez.

York Rite

Royal Arch Masons within the York Rite rock the red jacket and apron. Other than that, the idea is the same as Blue Lodge, jewel and apron of office when appropriate. Shown is a member of a local Chapter.

Cryptic Masons within York Rite also follow the same garb laid out by Blue Lodge, although they use purple instead of blue. Again, same general idea. Shown is a member of  a Grand Cryptic Council.

The Templars easily have the coolest Masonic costume outside of those used for degree work. The big fluffy hat is called a chapeau, and all members receive a sword during their initiation. All of the swords are silver or steel, except for the Commander’s (Templar equivalent of WM), which is gold. Crosses are used throughout the costume, as a requirement of joining the Templars is a belief in Christianity (or at least a willingness to fight for them). The entire outfit provokes thoughts of the military. The entire outfit replaces the apron.

Scottish Rite

There are over 15 different hats worn within the Scottish Rite, all symbolizing different degrees and statuses. The two you will see most often however, are the 32nd and 33rd degree hats. The 32nd degree hat is shown above. Often, aprons are not worn at Scottish Rite meetings, except for degree work, and even then sometimes the candidate is the only one who finds himself in one. This may vary from Consistory to Consistory of course. Unlike other appendant bodies, the hat and the apron may be worn together.

There are many different variations on the 33rd degree hat for Scottish Rite, but it will always be white. Many other hats exist for the Scottish Rite, and they vary greatly in color, ornateness, and jurisdiction. They are, however, generally all the same shape.

Many other Masonic costumes exist out there. Job’s Daughters has a traditional gown, Rainbow has a color system for their courts. DeMolay has a traditional outfit as well, and it includes a cape! In addition to these, there are countless outfits for degree work, which are usually not used too often; alas, that is a different article altogether.

Being a Masonic Leader

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Between two leadership conferences, September was definetly leadership month. Although September has passed us, I want to share with you some of the things that I learned during the month. If you think that this doesn’t pertain to you, or you think the whole concept is kind of lame, and too full of jargon, I want to challenge you to read on before just moving on to a different website. That’s because not only does everyone have the potiental to be a leader, but in one way or another, everyone is one, whether you realize it or not. Being a leader simply involves guiding, directing, or influencing others. That’s it, pretty simple. Leading can not only mean acting as WM of your Lodge, but it can also be encouraging your kids to make good choices. Naturally, this can have a positive or negative connotation, while “leadership” is usually seen positively, “ringleader” is not so much. Usually, this is something that most people do naturally, in one way or another, whether you realize it or not.

 The Nebraska Triennual Masonic Youth Leadership Conference

I spoke at length about what everyone got to do at MYLC this year. If you missed that, you can check it out here. The keynote speaker, Josh Shipp, was beyond awesome. He had a ton of amazing things to say, and I’m afraid the meager notes I took will not allow me to do him justice. He made two points that really stuck with me, that I want to go over briefly.

 Don’t be average. When it comes to things like leadership, this seems fairly self explainatory. However, it can also be the most difficult to actually accomplish. When we deviate from average, either above, or below, people tend to take notice. As I’ve said before, your leadership can be both a positive and a negative thing. If you’re at work and you go above and beyond whats needed, and you encourage others to do so, that’s awesome. The opposite, not so much. Being outside the norm almost always puts you in a position for potential leadership. The more you strive to be above (or below) average, the more likely people around you will notice, and if they like what they see, are likely to follow you. Don’t be afraid to be different or weird, that is an advantage you can use when it comes to influencing others.

Don’t be afraid to be human. Actually, the exact quote from Josh is, “Your imperfections make you human. Your humanity makes you influential.” If you have car trouble and are late to a meeting, or you fumble the powerpoint, you don’t need to draw attention to it. These actions can actually cause people to be more likely to follow your lead, because it makes them realize that you aren’t a person who is in a completely unobtainable position, you are someone who is just like them.

As I said in my MYLC post, if you ever get a chance to hear Josh Shipp talk, do it. The guy is amazing. You can find out more, including free videos at www.joshshipp.com

The Grand Lodge of Nebraska’s First Annual Leadership Conference

During the GL Leadership conference, a man named Hal came and spoke with us about simple things that we can do everyday to become leaders. He told us that he keeps this list in his bedside table, and looks at it every night. All of these pertain to Masonry, but more than that, many of them can also be accomplished at work, or at home.

1. Always prepare for a meeting, whether or not you are leading the meeting.

2. Demonstrate that you listened, and heard what was said. Usually through taking notes and asking questions.

3. Share leadership opportunities with those around you. Let someone else take the stage.

4. Say thank you for those who helped you along the way.

5.Give credit to others for their contribution to your success. If you’re walking along and you see a turtle up on a fencepost, you know that he didn’t get there on his own.

6. Don’t be in a hurry.

7. Two can accomplish more than one.

8. To be appreciated as a helper, set the example.

9. Be a good citizen.

10. Give thanks spiritually.

All seems pretty basic right? That seems to be the trick that the majority of leadership conferences seem to skip over. It really is that simple. If you have ever read, or seen the play All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulgrum, you may remember the Kindergarten Creed. If not, it’s below. Check out the similarities between the creed and what Hal had to say.

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life –learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.

Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup- the roots go down and the plant goes up, and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup, they all die. So do we.

And remember the Dick and Jane books, and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all, LOOK.

Being a leader is really about doing all those things that you already do, and some of the things you don’t do, but you know that you should. It doesn’t seem like it really should be that simple, but it really is.

#MYLC2K14

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Alright! That was a little bit of a rough week! I hope everyone is feeling well, I know that I am. This last weekend, I was lucky enough to attend the Nebraska Masonic Youth Leadership Conference, otherwise known as MYLC, as a DeMolay advisor. I had a ton of fun. September was really the month for Leadership, as I also was able to present at the Nebraska Grand Lodge Leadership Conference. I am sure you were expecting a big post about the importance of leadership, and believe me, that is in the works. However, this week I wanted to share everything that we did at MYLC. I had a few kids that this was not only their first big Masonic trip, but also their first overnight stay (far) away from home, and they were a little freaked out. I know that it can be just as scary to send your kiddo off for the weekend without really knowing what it is they will be up to.

Our journey (eventually, after a turnaround for a misplaced cell phone), began with me driving a car full of teenagers at 6am. Luckily, most of them slept through the 3 hour journey across state, and didn’t wake until around the halfway point. Once we arrived, we were given matching t-shirts, and randomly assigned groups. Everyone then convened in the main ballroom, where we were introduced to the state officers for DeMolay, Rainbow, and Job’s, as well as our emcee for the weekend, Amanda Hammett (more on her later). We all then got to know each other quite well via a group photo.

Nebraska only holds their youth leadership conference every three years, and this year we easily more than doubled the attendance!

After a quick ice breaker and a run down of what our day would look like, our keynote speaker, Josh Shipp did his thing. If you ever get a chance to hear Josh speak, do it. I don’t care if you’re a teenager, a grownup, Masonic, or not, that man has a lot of really awesome things to day, and has an excellent way of saying them. I actually had one of our members turn to me and say, “This is so much better than a keynote speaker!” Josh talked about two major points as far as leadership is concerned; don’t be average, and be human. I will be writing more about what Josh had to say next week, so be on the look out for that.

After Josh was done speaking, we had a quick lunch, and then broke up into our respective groups. My group first met back up with Amanda, who talked with us about leadership and failure. She reminded us of something that I think is excellent for youth to be reminded of; everyone fails, and failure is okay, and not the end of the world. Amanda alluded to the fact that she had failed big time, but wouldn’t tell us exactly how until the next day.

Pondering had about our own failures, we headed off to the just for fun part of the day, a Frisbee show put on by Flying Houndz. I’m pretty sure this video will give you a better idea than I can:

Needless to say, it was pretty cool. Our next stop was our service project. We stopped by the local food pantry and sorted canned goods for a bit, before heading to the store to buy some more.Within our groups we broke off into smaller teams of about 5 or so. Each team had about $65 dollars to spend (remember, when you donate to Masonic youth, this is the kind of things you are funding!), and 10 items that we had to buy, the rest we could buy any non-perishable items we pleased. Of course, its more fun with a little competition, so our goal was not only to spend the most money without going over, but also to buy the most amount of items. While my team did not win (we ended up with 129 items, mostly canned goods), I will say that I am very proud of my kiddos, as they decided to vow to not spend any of it on ramen. They felt that buying ramen would be the easy way out as far as winning was concerned, and that no one really wants to eat ramen in the first place, and that the food pantry probably already had pallets of it anyway. They literally decided to sacrifice the win in order to obtain higher value foods (mostly canned veggies and muffin mixes). Can’t say no to that, and I applaud them wholeheartedly for that decision.

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I had been up for about 14 hours at this point, and it was barely 6pm. I was starting to drag, but a nice dinner and my 3rd cup of coffee for the day did the trick. After dinner, we had a beautiful short presentation called the “Nebraska Family Masonic Portrait”. T tells me that they have done it in years past, but I do not think that changes the impact at all. Basically, the head officer for each Masonic organization in Nebraska, or at least someone in the Grand Line, took time out of their weekend, to come and represent their organization for the youth. Although it was short, the results were really quite stunning.

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We were then given a show by a great magician (of which I ended up with no pictures of, somehow), and then it was time for  the tradition for any Masonic Youth conference (leadership, or not), the dance.  It was more or less just like any junior high or highschool dance you’ve ever been to, the girls acting a little boy crazy, and the boys awkwardly standing on the sidelines, not really sure they want to dance with any girls. I suppose this is where I should mention that in my state, girls out number the boys as far as Masonic youth at least 3:1, maybe even 4:1. I talked my guys into staying for 45 minutes, then they could do as they pleased, and was surprised when they agreed. Their time was up shortly after the tradition of Masonic youth dances in Nebraska (at least, I don’t think it happens anywhere else), the Dashboard Light skit. I wish I had video of this, but for some reason I decided pictures would suffice (they don’t). Somehow, at some point in time, a tradition was started where the DJ plays the song Dashboard Light, by Meatloaf. Not the most wholesome song, but I recognize a lot of the kids probably don’t “get” it. During the song, the youth act out this fairly elaborate skit that goes along with the song. I was first introduced to it at the Master’s Ball, where I got drug into doing it with T and his old DeMolay friends. Not sure how it started (I asked, apparently it started sometime in the 80’s). Anyway, the rest of the dance was filled with sweet moves, as seen below:

After some much-needed sleep, our next morning gave us Curt Tomacevicz, an Olympian on the 2 and 4 man USA bobsled team. He spoke to us about fear, and how we can keep it from running our lives and keep us from being leaders. It also resulted in this awesome selfie (excuse the shaggy hair)

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After getting to hold an Olympic gold medal (!), Amanda came to speak with us again, more about failure and success. She lost everything due to a simple error, but was able to find so much more than she had in the first place through talking with youth. She was truly wonderful and very easy to approach.

There was one more point of business to attend to, shown here by our state officers:

With our send off song finished, we hugged our new friends goodbye, and loaded back up into the Expedition to head home. I had a wonderful time, and learned a good deal; not only about leadership, but also about our youth members. I know that many of them felt the same. Too bad it’s another three years until the next one!

Hopefully that helps put some of your minds at ease as far as sending your kiddos off on Masonic youth trips. As I said before, next week I will be covering more in-depth on the content of the two conferences; and a goat.